Kay Hanley

I am totally overwhelmed by the volume of pictures and information that I accumulated over our holiday in my kickass hometown of Boston, Massachusetts (and environs) so I am just gonna blaze through the highlights.

My childhood buddies Kevin and Jeff came with their kids to the Providence show. I hadn’t seen them in over 20 years so it was funny to reconnect now that we are creaky (yet exceedingly well-preserved) old people. My sister Patricia also came with her posse. Kevin arrived bearing Dorchester hoodies, one for me and one for Miley, with our names embroidered on the sleeve. I LOVE mine (and my OFD tee shirt - holla!), although I’ll have to put electrical tape over my name when I hold up that liquor store. Either that or borrow Miley’s.

dot rats reprazent.

A huge portion of the Hanley lineage was in the house for the Worcester show. It was quite something to see my Dad rocking out in the 3rd row. Henry just about lost his mind when he met the Jonas Bros backstage but Erin and Zoemay kept their cool.

*calmly swooning*

Most of the tour flew back to LA after the Worcester shows but I stayed behind at the Four Seasons where Michael, Zoemay and Henry had come to spend the holiday with me on the East Coast. My sister Patricia had the good sense to organize a Very Hanley Christmas so that it would happen on Christmas Eve Eve (the day before henry’s 5th birthday) at Legal Seafood right next to our hotel. I CANNOT believe that I didn’t photograph the 4 dozen oysters that we ate, but that might be explained by the fact that we ate them with great, um, speed and elan. Henry ate about a dozen on his own.

can’t. eat. any. more. oyst…. ok, one more.

Henry got some fun birthday presents, some of which he shared with his cousins.

moustaches are always funny

We sang Happy Birthday to my beautiful little guy with some chocolate cake and then it was time to go. Patricia and her family drove back to Hanover and my parents went back to Cape Cod, but not before we decreed that from this day forth, A Very Hanley Christmas would be held in a restaurant so someone else could do the damn dishes. My sisters Maryellen and Elizabeth and my bro-in-law Tim walked back to hotel with us so the guys could watch the football game. The girls and I excused ourselves to the pub across the street where I peer pressured them into drinking an Irish Car Bomb. God, I am such an asshole sometimes, but I am also very mature, so whatevs. The reviews were mixed but I could tell that Maryellen, ever the purist, felt like we were defiling the Guinness.

YAY! SISTERS!

Christmas Eve was just for the 4 of us. We bundled the kids up and went sightseeing. I saw sights that I’ve seen a million times before but it’s different when you see sights with your own children that have never really seen those same sights.

the public garden

make way for duckling (!)

We made it back to the hotel and got ready for Santa. I can’t believe he knew that we were staying at the Four Seasons, but I guess that’s why he’s Santa. The kids were STOKED!

Christmas Day was a long one, but we had a fabulous time. We drove to my aunt and uncle Nancy & Rick’s in Bristol, RI for some more Hanley family merriment. Their house is gorgeous and they are, needless to say, excellent people.

so pretty….

Michael and Tim held their annual War Against Christmas meeting. They have to change locations every year so Bill O’Reilly won’t find them and expose their shadowy network of 2 and nefarious plans to eradicate Christmas from the planet Earth. Those liberal elitists are super clever.

they must be destroyed. or hugged.

My Mom REALLY likes to buy the grandchildren matching jammies at Christmas and then photograph them. I wonder how long the 5 of them will go for it.

ok, it’s super cute.

Then we hopped in the rental car and headed for Nana’s for a few days. Michael’s still there with the babes but we are meeting in SoHo tonight for his birthday party. Back to work, now….

xok

I didn’t plan to take such an extended break from my life as an e-diarist but everything went ass over teakettle with the unexpected appearance of the holiday season. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t love talking about myself. It just means that I have other stuff to do right now, the most important of which is napping with my little monkeys.

i’ll be back shortly….

Happy Holiday wherever you may be.

xok

Lexington, KY kicks off our re-cap.

Apparently, we played in front of more people at this venue than any other on the tour thus far. Almost 40 million people in attendance! Can you believe that? I finally remembered to bring my camera on stage with me for the occasion.

my perspective on thingsj joe jonas in flight

me and candy-o punching the clock 

 CINCINNATI

Then we went to Cincinnati and played a show, I guess. I don’t remember a single thing about what happened there but here’s a picture that Stacy took of a crazy old bag lady that was hanging around outside of our bus one day.

 poor dear.

TORONTOThere was much hand wringing and gnashing of teeth regarding our border crossing into Canada for the Toronto show. People were extremely concerned about concealed contraband, weapons and criminal records. Me? Clean as a goddamned whistle. Except for that little thing about the stuff and the thing a few years back. It was not even my fault, but whatever. Can we stop talking about this now? Jeez.

 

Toronto, Canada. i love Canada. I spent my childhood summers in Nova Scotia. Some of my favorite bands of the last decade hail from that part of North America. Beautiful, wonderful socialized medicine is a hallmark of their sense of social justice and political enlightenment. The people look foxy but are still polite and friendly. These days, Canada could even be described as a tophat on a turd, but only for another year or so. I hope. I love you Canada, and I hope you and I get to spend more time together. Let’s not just say it, but really MEAN it this time.Anyhoo..we got to Toronto and it was snowing. We had a day off before the show but I spent most of the day sleeping. Michael has been telling me forever about his favorite Toronto restaurant, Kit Kat and with the aid of our lovely concierge we were able to score a table at the last minute. I award Kit Kat 4 “hollas” on a scale of 1-5, which is nearly a perfect score, given my level of food-ish knowledge and snobbery. Oh, and I promise to stop using the word holla as soon as I get back home and I have to act my age again.    

We went back to the hotel for a nightcap and ran into a bunch of our other tour people who had the same idea. Management was returning from a very high powered meeting over steaks and red wine and Miley had just come back from a play with her mom Tish, whom I do not socialize with much outside of work. I really like her so it was nice to have a regular conversation that did not revolve around the task at hand.

 candice, miley, tish & me 

Then my 15 year old friend made us crash some company’s christmas party at the hotel. Did it occur to me to put the kibosh on the tomfoolery? No. I seriously have no self discipline, but I do have a very fun life, so here we are. gatecrashers 

 I danced for awhile and then snuck out so that I could catch Michael and the kiddos for a video iChat before they went to bed. I am so close to seeing them, I can hardly believe it. We will be living the life of Riley when we get to Boston.  zeros and ones make a happy family  Toronto, to be continued….xok

I had no idea that the Bluejackets were even a team, but apparently during the last NHL expansion they became one. Oy. The good news is that they invited the entire tour to come down to the party box to see a game against who else? The Anaheim Ducks. Where have you gone, Mr. Bobby Orr? A nation turns its lonely Zambonis to you….

We had lots of fun, though. The tone was set for me, personally when Benoit (greatest drum tech of all time) showed up wearing the most bitching coat EVER.

be careful with those leather strips, b!

Anytime I get to squeeze in between Simon (front of house engineer) and Pyro (pyro) and all of their lustrous day-off hair, ’tis a good day indeed.

pyro, me and the bloke.

We finished up the evening at O’Shaunessey’s Pub with the requisite rounds of Irish Car Bombs. They are like yummy Guinness mochas that you have to drink really fast and oh, how I love them. Wait, is that good or bad?

the official drink of days off

There was a ton of drama that took place that night, involving Candice being a klepto and throwing me under the blame bus, but all was forgiven because she and I had a killer night of karaoke. I am sure she will recount the tale on her new BLOG!!!!!

xok

I was telling Michael how Ryan & Marshall (Miley’s dancers) brought their skateboards on the road and how it’s super fun to cruise around all of the smooth underground parking lots where the buses and semis park at the venues. Even though I ride like an old lady I really love skateboarding.

As luck would have it, I have a husband who actually likes me, listens to what I say to him, knows how to use USPS, is super sexy and above all: totally RULES. Here’s what arrived for me in Chicago! Michael picked out the deck, trucks and wheels at Val Surf and they built it for me. It’s perfect, seriously.

you take your car to work, i’ll take my board.

Here on The Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best Of Both Worlds Tour, we have matinees on weekends and it really throws me off. I’m such a creature of habit that when I have to be at work 3 hours earlier than usual I become incapable of keeping up with the things I normally do during the day, like eating, phoning home and e-journaling. But that doesn’t mean it was not an exciting weekend so let’s go through it, shall we?

We checked into a beautiful hotel in Indianapolis. Let’s call it the Marble Palais. Stacy, Jamie and I adjourned to the festively decorated bar for a nightcap and sang carols around the tree. No we didn’t. We just took this picture.

why is this so funny to me?

We said goodnight and retired for the evening. After I got mostly settled in my room, I remebered that I needed to go back to the lobby for something so I threw my Uggs on over my jammies and headed back downstairs. When I got to the lobby, there was a guy sitting on a pretty sofa being treated by paramedics. He looked pale as if had OD’d or something. I walked out the revolving doors into the cold. There was a Rolls Royce Phantom parked on the sidewalk with the doors wide open, blaring hip hop music. Weird. Cops started pulling up and marking off the area with crime scene tape and one of them asked me to step aside a few feet so as not to disturb the evidence:

can’t get anything past me!

Jamaal Tinsley from the Pacers and his bros had pissed some people off at a club, probably for being blinged out and driving around in a 3 car caravan, including the Phantom. Yeah, that would make me want to fire some shots into the car and risk killing someone. The driver got hit, but he’s fine I guess. Some people in this world are really reckless and stupid.

I grew up in Dorchester so that incident was like another day at the office. Off to sleepyland I went. I had to get up early because hair stylist extraordinnaire, Scott Dowers was coming to the hotel to cut and color me and Candice. Thank you Scott and Alex - we LOVE our hair! And thank you to Chelsea Schwartz for making the introduction.

room service

Michael sent me a picture of Z giving her presentation on Marie Curie this morning. She did an outstanding job. Be careful when viewing this photo. You may die from the cuteness.

love, love, love.

Today is a day off in Columbus and it looks pretty bleak out there. Room service coffee is good, though.

xok

Yesterday was our day off in The Windy City and what a day it was. It is always a happy treat when we check into a hotel and I find awesome products in the bathroom. In the case of the lovely James Hotel, it was the best of the best:

keihl’s in all my favorite flavors.

I dragged all of my luggage up to my room and immediately threw clothes and shoes all over the place and made #604 my own for the next 36 hours. Candice and I made plans to go shopping so the first order of business for me was winter clothes. The first order of business for Candice was to convince me to buy some clothes that don’t make me look like a 23 year old indie-rock boy. I ended up in the dressing room at Nordstrom’s for literally 90 minutes. I hate shopping. I did get some cute stuff though, including a long sleeve black satin mini-dress which couldn’t have come into my life at a better time seeing as we were going to a hockey game.

The Chicago Blackhawks invited Miley to sit in their luxury box for their game against the Anaheim Ducks (is there a more execrable moniker in all professional sports? i think not.) so she invited the band to join her. It was pretty awesome, I gotta say. Candice got me all tarted up in my dress and red lipstick and we all cheered like hell for Chicago.

this is not the boston garden

wicked sensitive crew.

candice, brian, stacy and jaco

how thoughtful of the blackhawks!

We had to get out of Dodge in an unexpectedly brisk fashion because people figured out that Miley was in the box and started closing in. I’m not sure if I was fully aware of just how kooky things have gotten in terms of Miley’s fame, but I think I got it last night. Whoa.

The band got dropped off back at the James and we decided to meet the dancers at the club next door for some cocktails & booty shaking. Stacy, Jamie and Jaco stuck with the former but Candice and I did some damage in both departments. Really fun night.

me and the girlies! holla, holla, holla!

On the bus, rolling to Indianapolis, watching a Dexter marathon. Nice.

xok

Gabi and I met in the hotel bar for a little business tête - à - tête and dinner last night. We were sharing a salad and decided that it could use a bit of seasoning. A waiter was summoned and cracked pepper was requested. The whole exchange was so mundane until….

is that your pepper mill or….?

Oh, boy. We got a lot of mileage out of that one.

Tonight’s show in Detroit was fab and the Rock City crowd lived up to all expectation by being super loud and appreciative. Randy (cleokid for those of you in the know) came to the show with his wife and 2 daughters and it was great to see them all rocking in the 5th row (thanks gabi!).

me & the cleokiddies, kelsie and karlie.

We had the longest soundcheck of all time because of a monitor glitch so I entertained myself by pouting and taking pictures. Miley got a new coat at yesterday’s trip to the mall:

i. am. so. jealous.

At the beginning of the tour I almost got my head taken off several times by the pyrotechnics during the song “Start All Over” by being a space cadet and walking right into the explosions. Quick thinking and logical Pyro (real name Steve - he runs the pyro coincidentally enough!) decided to avert an inevitable catastrophe by taping this helpful message on my riser:

thanks pyro!

Time for sleepy.

xok

I have no idea why I love truck stops, but ever since I started touring as a wee lass, I have not been able to resist the late night lure of beef jerky, bad coffee, crappy videos and creepy lurkers. Last night we had an 800 mile drive from Kansas City to Detroit, necessitating a fuel stop and of course, the opportunity to scavenge the aisles of a Flying J. I’m not sure if Mike is humoring me or what, but I’ve managed to convince him to accompany me into the last 2 truck stops.

mikey likes it!

Nobody is immune from the special feeling that comes over you when you see that cartons of cigarettes are $25 and that towels are now included with your $8 truck stop shower. I think this picture of Wildman and Larry (our irrepressible drivers) really nails the sentiment.

nothing but love, baby

We arrived in Rochester, Michigan to find that winter has arrived in certain places. It was not a happy discovery. I am woefully unprepared for snow and freezing temperatures. Miley and some of the dancers invited me to go shopping but then I would have to actually put on every layer of clothing in my posession just to walk back outside. Also, there is something about shopping at a suburban mall with a police escort and 2 bodyguards that seems a bit off-putting, y’know? I think I will spend my day off in my beautiful room and order obscene amounts of room service.

ahhh..pretty and warm.

xok

The show in Little Rock was marred by illness (more on that in a moment) but Candice and I got permission to do our hair differently so as far as I’m concerned it was the best show of the tour so far. Ask anyone who was there and they will tell you that my and Candice’s hair-dos and resulting performances were off the chain.

The other highlight for me was at the previously hyped Benihana (before they tried to poison everyone) when I ran across this interesting crew:

ladies..

….and gentlemen

They were all coming from a cotillion! I’m still not exactly sure what that is but I know that the tradition has strong roots in southern culture and is meant to promote manners and respect between the sexes. I thought it was so cute that the kids (all 6th graders) had spent the afternoon mingling as little adults and then the second they got to Benihana they split ranks entirely. Ah…those were heady days if I remember correctly.

But all was not bliss at Benihana on that night. The food was fairly gross to begin with but poor Stacy and Charlie spent the next 24 hours vomiting. That left the rest of us wondering if we were next. I couldn’t tell if my tummyache was a sympathy one or if all hell was about to break loose but I am happy to report that nothing major came of it.

we should have seen it coming