Kay Hanley

As you probably know, we had a “moderate” earthquake in Los Angeles today.  The epicenter was located 30 miles east of LA in Chino Hills.  Here is the email that I sent to my family, who were obviously freaking, especially when I could not be reached on my celly.

It was pretty crazy.  We’re still waiting out the aftershocks so we’ll see how the rest of the day goes, but it seems like the worst is over with no injuries or significant damage.  This was my second earthquake, actually.  The first one was much smaller, but it was the jerking kind so it felt scarier.  This one was a rolling earthquake and it didn’t register at first that it even WAS an earthquake.  I was waiting in line to order some lunch so of course, I was looking down texting.  I started swaying back and forth and felt like I was losing my balance.  I was starving so I thought I was dizzy or something and felt like I needed to sit down.  Nobody seemed to be freaking out.  A minute later someone texted me EARTHQUAKE!!!  Then it dawned on me.  I haven’t had cell service since because all the providers are jammed.

It occurs to me now that today was one of the most peaceful days I have had in a long time because after the quake I drove back home to use my land line and took my sweet time getting back to work.  It was like the west coast equivalent of a snow day from school. 

One of the things that I did to waste time today after I decided to not work was cruise around my Google Analytics thingy (thanks schmidley!) and check out the weirdos that are checking out my blog.  For those of you who don’t know what Google Analytics is, and I barely do, it’s a tool for quantifying traffic on your website.  I just use it to see how many hits per day I get on my blog and where the traffic is coming from (i can’t see email or IP addresses so if you’re stalking me, have no fear. i can’t see the 50-100 hits per week originating from your specific location) but my favorite thing to check out is the keywords that people type into search engines that lead them to my blog.  Here are some of the recent winners:

joe jonas ass   (explains itself)

charles manson left handed   (i need to meet this person)

reklam alany   (?)

kay hanley nude   (sorry kids, i’m catholic. not remotely findable. unless…)

kay hanley alcoholic   (i dunno. i was probably drunk)

o quo tangin wann  (oh yeah, that guy. he’s with reklam alany last i heard.  and they’re IN MY ATTIC!!!)

Also, lots of really disgusting shit about Miley of course, which I will not repeat for obvious reasons.  Several requests for naked pictures of pretty much all the gals on the HM/MC tour.  If search engines are the arbiter of truth about the interwebs, then we are all living amongst very, shall we say, singularly focused people.  Or I could just say you are all big pervs.

I also spent a bit of time today on youtube finding videos of songs that I loved in my youth.  This may or may not cause you to think less of me, but I loved really crappy music in my day.  I don’t even know why I am using past tense here because I still love me some crappy music.  I like to balance out my otherwise impeccable taste in everything else.  Yeah, punk? You wanna say somethin’?  Psssshht….

Here’s one of many favorites from back when I had humongous hair and dated jocks that smelled like Polo Cologne. That smell (which is rare to come across these days) still makes me a bit weak in the knees as memories of nervously slow dancing to Open Arms swirl hazily through my brain, but that’s another topic.  Other immediate thoughts:  Whatever happened to Marilyn McCoo?  Also, didn’t Lisa Lisa have huge boobs?

xok 

When I started this little writing experiment last Fall it was because I wanted to document my first gig as a back-up vocalist.  On the biggest concert tour in history.  Also, Greg Garbo from the Jonas Brothers and Miley’s keyboard player, Mike Schmid were both blogging so I felt it was my responsibility to talk about myself too, because lordy knows they were not going to talk about me nearly enough for my liking.  I have a track on Weaponize called Strange Life so I christened my blog with that title.  It seemed fitting.

Here we are, 10 months later and my life has never been stranger.  I mean this in a good way. It is a rare thing, indeed, for a person to have a career and personal life that so vastly blows away anything that mere imagination could concoct.

For example, this was how I spent last Friday morning, courtesy of Vashon’s iPhone at The Today Show in NYC as we prepared to soundcheck for Miley’s set.

nadia and me get ready to shake them asses.

In other news, my girlies from the late, lamented Shut Up Stella continue to kick ass and take names on their solo projects.  Jessie Malakouti just released this video for the song, Trash Me.  She wrote, produced and financed the video by herself which is a stunning accomplishment no matter what the final result.  The fact that it looks gorgeous is frosting, baby.  Check my little sis out:

Dinner at Hungry Cat tonight with USA, Ryan McMillan and his wife Alana.  So excited.

xok 

As it so often is with me, if I don’t take pictures or write it down, it might as well not have happened.  Blogging has been a revelation to me in this regard.  Over the course of my life I have lost so many of what should be my awesome-est memories because my brain is a sieve, but now I can document the stuff that happens not only in detail, but in order!  

One of the highlights of our way too brief vacation was our day trip to Edgartown on the Vineyard courtesy of David & Patricia’s boat.  There aren’t many things I enjoy more than hanging out with my sister Trishie and seeing the Z & Hank have a blast with their cousins.  It was a top quality hang.  

 les enfants terribles.

 eastside 4 life

rockers i have met while yachting. 

 patricia, dave & usa

One of our favorite families from our ‘hood in Los Angeles, The Smalls, also take their vacation in Falmouth every year, but somehow we always miss each other.  This year, we were there at exactly the same time. 

nick, liam & z

the sox crush the twins for our viewing pleasure.

 kim, zozo & new sox fan, bella.

Elizabeth’s boyfriend, Grande, took the most amazing pictures and was super brillz to load them into my iPhoto. Here are some highlights.

papa, brendan and hank plot their next lego project 

is there anything else?

 chucks on the beach

 erin & elizabeth

And then, there was the annual townie throwdown featuring the usual cast of hooligans as well as some newbies.  I love my Boston homeys, I really do.

whuudya want from me?

i BROUGHT the fucking miller high life, fer crissakes

there is no “i” in team

and there is no “h” in wiffle.   

usa, mr. quigley, donna & dr. rickles 

And now I am back in LA.  Actually, I’ve been back for a week but I’ve been ripping my hair out with work related busyness, including a 24 hour trip to NY that involved a 5:30am wake-up call and booty shaking with Ms. Cyrus on national television.  I don’t understand how it is that I have the funnest career of any person on this earth, yet I am practically blind with stress half the time.  I think it has something to do with my time management.  Or lack thereof.  

Having a birthday shindig for Michelle tonight, so I should get crackalackin’.  

• plan menu
• sing care bears demo
• finish lyrics first, maybe 
• buy food
• cook it
• feed guests
• drink too much
• sing happy birthday
• have another glass of wine
• clean up
• pre-emptive advil, glass of water
• nightcap
• bed

xok 

I have no idea what I’ve been doing for the last 15 years of my life, but I do know this:  USA Mike & I have not taken a proper vacation since our bizarre Disney World trip in ’95.  (please remind me to recount that story for you someday…)  Even our honeymoon was sandwiched in between tours and we ended up staying at Tom & Jacqueline Lord Alge’s condo in South Beach on our way to play a show in Ft Lauderdale or something like that.  Seriously – we crashed on our friends’ couch (a very nice one, of course) for our honeymoon, for chrissakes.  We are terrible vacationers.

Usually when we go home to Boston, we think, “Oh, we’re in our hometown so we should play a show.”  What happens next is that we turn a perfectly lovely visit with the family into a giant clusterfuck of commuting from the Cape to Boston for rehearsals and then we have to try and see all of our friends for dinner and then we have to play the show and maybe we should get a hotel so we don’t have to worry about the drive and hey mom & dad would you mind just babysitting for our kids while we do this other stuff and so on and so forth.

This year, we made an executive decision to peace out on all that.  I am doing nothing but sitting on my arse and laughing with my sisters until our tummies hurt, arguing vigorously with good ol’ Tom Hanley about politics, weeping with my Mom about the gorgeous ways we’ve failed each other over the years, watching from the beach while USA takes ZoZo and Henry swimming in the Atlantic Ocean because I’m afraid of seaweed and allergic to freezing salt water and watching every moment of the Red Sox in real time.  I will not go anywhere that involves driving a car if I can help it although I will make a few exceptions:

•  Tea at Patricia’s house.
• Guinness with Fish & Chips at Liam McGuire’s.   

I will eat at least 75 oysters, 1 lb. of USA’s pulled pork, 150 steamers, 2 lobsters, 50-100 fried clams (with bellies), 3 hot dogs and/or cheeseburgers, and a dozen steak tips from The Ninety-Nine.  I will drink 12 Harpoon IPA’s, 2 Grey Goose dirty martinis (extra dirty & extra cold) and an incalculable amount of white wine.  Some of that white wine may come out of a spigot attached to a box.

We’ll invite the usual suspects to our annual summer hang.  Pete Stone will tell everyone for the billionth time how if he and I were the last 2 people on Earth after a nuclear annihilation of some sort, the human race would die out.  I’m starting to think he isn’t totally afraid of my cooties because c’mon now, who goes on and on about such an unlikely scenario?  Pete, do we need to talk?  Great!  I’ll see you next weekend at my parents’ house and we’ll sort it out then.  Quigley & Casey will bring the Frisbees I think, but I might be making that up.  They may just bring a case of beer.  Some Horrigan family representatives would be nice.  Nate, please feel free to bring your lady.  You can introduce me as your frail, elderly aunt.  

Whew.  It’s been a wild year.  Even though I’m too wired to sleep, I am so content to be sitting outside in the pitch black, listening to the lighthouse horn and gearing up for a few moments of much needed nothing. 

Fuck.  I just got drilled by a mosquito.  Mommy!!!!! 

-xok 

The other day we went over to Michelle’s house.  Duh, what else is new?  I’ll tell you what’s new, smarty pants - Lisa Loeb has an utterly charming kids record out called Camp Lisa and she was shooting a music video in Michelle’s back yard.   Zoemay and I sang on a few songs so Z was thrilled to be invited to jump around with Lisa for the video shoot.  

awwww….. 

Z is holding a Daisy Rock guitar, btw.  I LOVE these guitars and I finally got to meet the owner of the company after 5 years of working together on various projects, not the least of which was her creating 5 different Care Bears guitars for the We Are The Care Bears video.  Thanks Tish, it was great to finally meet you in person.

The video was directed by Gary and shot by Kaylyn.  At the end of a very long day,  Z got  a lift home in Kaylyn’s bitchin’ convertible Mini Cooper.  I am so jealous of this car.

whatchu lookin’ at punk? 

Other stuff & things:

• Check out Jessie Malakouti’s myspace page and listen to #1 Big Booty, a song that she and I wrote with Wayne Rodrigues for Jessie’s upcoming solo debut.
• Michelle and I sat down with Scott Austin and filmed an interview for his new web broadcast, :90 Music Show w/ Scott Austin.

 I’m in Provo, Utah today for a huge 4th of July concert featuring Ms. Thing as the headliner.  Then it’s off to Cape Cod where I will collapse on Mommy & Daddy’s hammock and cry for a week demand that people bring me things like lobsters, my phone, a hot dog, a blanket and another blanket because it will be cold at night.  I’ll probably need a pillow while you’re up.  Thank you.   No, you can’t use the hammock because I will be on it for the rest of the week.  Go away now, but first will you bring me that sunscreen?  Ok, I think I have everything now.  Check in later because I may think of other things that I want and/or need.  

Yup.  That’s the plan.

-xok