Kay Hanley

It appears that many of us find Barack Obama just delightful!  In fact,  earlier this evening Conroy & I poured ourselves the finest California Chard that Long’s Drug had to offer, gathered around the old teedle vee and just enjoyed the heck out of everything Presid..oops! Senator Obama had to say as he gave his parting oration at the Democratic National Convention.   If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that I was watching God himself, but we liberal elitists know that such occult beliefs are absurd distractions, meant to soothe and sedate a lesser form of humanity than ours.  But just for fun, let’s characterize his appearance as God-esque!  He was simply marvelous.  That is all I am trying to express.

That Mr. Obama really knows how to get the audience going and gosh darn it, we would really like to see a man of such bold charisma and clear intellectual superiority be the President.  He reminds me of the commanding Chalupa Gordito, conductor of the Machu Picchu Philharmonic (where we had the most amusing holiday a few years back on the advice of our dear friends, Howard Zinn and Al Franken) or some rockstar - like The Bono!  

Our only hope is that those inconsiderate Republicans don’t come after Mr. Obama and besmirch his upstanding character, because that would be terribly disappointing to us and could also ruin his chances to do something really terrific with our fine country, The United States Of America!  

 pass the fucking grey poupon, mr. cheney.  now.

* photo credit: zoe mabel

xok 

USA Mike and I are about to be the proud owners of this gorgeous painting by the Japanese artist Sush Machida Gaikotsu.  Naomi is going to put me in the poor house if she doesn’t stop bringing these paintings into my house.  After they are here, I can’t live without them. 

 It’s positively dreamy.  

-xok 

For those of you who only know me as a person who got to embrace ALL of the Jonas Bothers at the Teen Choice Awards a few weeks back (hello boys. *wink*) you will be even more impressed that I perform at a Red Sox charity event twice a year called Hot Stove Cool Music.  Maybe “impressed” is a strong word.  Disinterested?  Apathetic? Whatever.  Just look at the pretty pictures and pretend to care about my silly comings and goings.    

I didn’t perform my own set at this one but I got to go back home to Boston for the event and help out with press and stuff.  The lovely Jen and I sat in with Peter Gammons’ band on back up vocals and then we all drank beers on a deck overlooking the Boston Harbor.  

 It’s funny, nobody ever used to drink beers out on the Harbor.  At least not sitting in a chair at a table with a pretty waitress pouring them into a nice glass.  For most of my life in Boston, the Harbor inspired more of a Schlitz tall boy out of a paper bag and peeing under a bridge kind of a vibe.  Times, they are a changin’.  I don’t like it. 

Here’s what I did last weekend in Boston.  I forgot my camera, so your guest photographer for today’s post is the lovely Mark Quigley, who got to waste enjoy his birthday chaperoning my disorganized ass around town.  The good news was that we got to sit in Theo’s suite to watch the Sox game!  AHHHH!!!!! 

 nesn pre-game show with tom caron.  talking is my hobby.

interview with my pal joe castiglione,

top ‘o the 2nd

 me and jennifer slumming it in theo’s suite. dot rats 4 life.

 caldes & ed v. are badasses

the star trek sign was unintentional, yet apropos.

gammons, joe & me.

 townies are better than the rest of you

xok

Once upon a time, I was a young, naive traveler.  With little or no loyalty, I would whore out my travel dollars to the lowest bidder or fly on the chosen airline of whomever was flying me to and fro.  I didn’t care what name was slapped on the plane’s fuselage.  All I wanted was a bloody mary and safe passage.

All that changed with the advent of Jet Blue.  At first I was seduced by the clean, modern look of their advertising and insanely well priced flights. 

The seduction turned into a true love affair when I actually flew on my first Jet Blue flight.  New jets, friendly staff, great website and super efficient electronic check in.  And the televisions.  I admit now that my lust was (perhaps) taken to an irrationally euphoric place because of the TV situation.

So, how did we go so wrong?  I realize now that, although I thought that I was dealing with a lover who loved me back, I was deluding myself.  Jet Blue never loved me.  Jet Blue is a heroin dealer by way of a greedy, selfish boyfriend.

It started with the prices creeping up slowly, but I didn’t see anything nefarious about that, really. I only began realizing the bleak nature of our relationship over the course of the last 3 months or so.  Things have deteriorated rapidly, to put it mildly, including a flight from Boston to LA that I bought 3 seats on for my Mom and 2 kids.  The flight was the one of the most expensive that I found but I didn’t care. It was worth the price for the TV sets alone, knowing that my Mom would have her hands full and the entertainment would help a LOT.  2 of the 3 TVs in their row were broken.

All of a sudden the Jet Blue website has been retarded.  I have been unable to book a seat assignment, even though I have a frequent flyer account.  The prices of flights have suddenly become non-competitive to say the least.  

As I write this, I am sitting in a middle seat for my SEVENTH FLIGHT IN A ROW.   Admittedly, these recent flights have been booked within 2 weeks of my departures, but why is it that I can no longer even look at a seating chart to find out where I’m sitting?  Is it possible that %100 of Jet Blue flyers are so savvy that every single seat is accounted for more than 2 weeks before the flight?  Even if this were so, I would then have to accept that I bought the very last ticket available.

As I wrap up my rant, I would simply like to mention that my TV is broken, as is that of the passenger next to me.  Fuck you, Jet Blue.

Oh YouTube, how do I love thee?  Once you sort through the endless piles of crap, one can find some of the best entertainment ever to be beheld.  And so, I am here say that I have done some sorting for you.  Ladies and gentlemen, the value of the gift I am about to give you cannot be measured by any currency that humanity has ever come up with.  If you have never seen this stuff before, today will mark a new chapter in your meaningless life.  If you are all “Um.. duh, Kay.  I only saw these like, a year ago.”  To that I say, fair enough, but I dare you to watch them again and not have tears streaming down your face.  Oh, you think I’m being hyperbolic?  Yeah, we’ll see about that.

I hope this finally proves once and for all that I love you.  I know you’re always bitching feeling real bad lately about how I don’t buy you candy and flowers and shit anymore.  How I don’t “value” your time or “respect” all the things you do for me.  I know, baby.  I can be selfish sometimes.  But you gotta know that even when I’m ignoring you and seeing other people on the side, I always wanna come back to you and rock that body.  When it’s convenient for me and I’ve had a few too many drinks, it’s always YOU, sexy.  You know that.  Now let me tap that ass and get outta here, kitten.  You’re the best.  I need 5 bucks by the way.  Got that on you?  Cool, cool.  Actually, hold that thought on the ass tappin’ thing.  I just remembered something but I will totally be right back in a few days hours.  Take these youtube videos as a miniscule token of our special love.  Just sit right there looking as beautiful as you are, bathed in the diffused light peeking through the drapes of this Super 8 motel room and how could I NOT come right back?  Don’t bother making the bed - they’ve got people for that.  Sometimes I wonder if you grew up in a barn.  I mean, how are you even comprehending this right now?  Can you even READ?  Jesus Christ, don’t you know anything?!  You know what?  Now you’re just pissing me off.  Where’s my 5 bucks?  Make it 10 now, just for being such a pain in my ass.  Yeah, don’t talk so much, you.  Make sure there’s a 6 pack of tall boys on ice when I get back or there will be no end to how annoyed I am going to be with you.