Kay Hanley

 photo credit: steven

During a lovely evening of drinks and chit chat at Laurel Tavern with writer/comic/new media mogul, Jill Kushner,  I was hipped to The Molls Show, a web based blog/vlog/performance art thingy that Jill’s company FM78.tv is distributing.  As it turned out, Molls was looking for music to underscore a new video that she was editing and after talking to Jill the next day, she decided to use Don’t Drop A Bomb, a song that I wrote and recorded with Fannius for my last record, Weaponize.

After a flurry of emails between me, Fannius and Molls, it was decided that the ladies would come to Casa de Rocker to film shenanigans for the next webisode of The Molls Show.  They came, we acted like idiots, we got it all on tape.  The picture above is us filming our reaction to the infamous vomit porn, 2 Girls 1 Cup.  We felt that there aren’t enough of those floating around already.

xok 

I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar.

- How Soon Is Now?  The Smiths 

You were working as a waitress at a cocktail bar when I met you.

- Don’t You Want Me Baby?  Human League  

Am I the manager or am I not?

- Am I The Manager Or Am I Not?  Centro-Matic

 In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway American dream.

- Born To Run  Bruce Springsteen   

She was a fast machine she kept her motor clean.     *ed. note: um, eww? 

- You Shook Me All Night Long   AC/DC

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high.

- Somewhere Over The Rainbow   Dorothy 

What’s with these homeys dissing my girl?

- Buddy Holly  Weezer 

We were lovers, we were kissers, we were holders of hands we were make-believers.

- I’m Still In Love  The Stills 

Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol.  Cocaine.

- Feel Good Hit Of The Summer   QOTSA

Her green plastic watering can for her fake chinese rubber plant in fake plastic earth.

- Fake Plastic Trees  Radiohead 

I’m realizing now that this task is utterly insane.  I could sit here for hours and still keep thinking of more and more songs with amazing opening lyrics.  Feh.  So yes, I know this list is incomplete but the sunshine awaits and I must go bask in its glorious rays.  I ain’t even gonna wear no sunscreen neither.  Check me out, living recklessly.

Daylight savings is retarded.  I don’t like it.

 -xok

 Thanks everyone for your fabulous ideas.  I will be picking the winner(s) today and blogging the results tomorrow.  Y’all are the bee’s knees.

-xok 

Here’s the deal.  I have nothing going on.  I have wasted this entire week in ways that I never thought possible.  I would like to write a blog, but i can’t think of anything.  So at this critical moment, I ask you, what would you like me to write about?  Any and all suggestions will be open to consideration.   In some ways, the more ridiculous the better but topics of substance are good too.  Post a blog title in the comments section and I will make it happen.  What do you get out of this?  A co- executive producer credit if you pick the winning title and the happy feeling that you’ll get from preventing a bored musician from going to beauty school.  Or to the mall.

I’ve had this weird ear thing off and on for the past few months.  You know how when you’re on a plane and you’re landing and your ears get all cloggy so you open your jaw like you’re yawning or chew gum to un-clog them? It’s exactly like that but since I’m not on a plane, it affects only the right side and the weird sensation doesn’t respond to yawning or gum-smacking,  my vertigo-inducing ear thing is most likely a brain tumor which is why there is no way in hell that I am going to see a doctor about this.

Dr. Blizzblazz:  ”Kay, I can’t believe you’ve been walking around in this condition for months.  Clearly, you have a saint-like threshold for pain and discomfort.”

Me:  ”Well, Dr. B, I have a lot of responsibilities.  When so many people depend on you, who has the time or inclination to get sidetracked by a silly old ear thing?  I mean, those blind Gypsy orphans ain’t gonna teach themselves to run edits on a pro-tools rig!  Am I right or am I right?  Haha!  Anyhoodles, I’m late for my lunch at The Peninsula so can I just get some like, penicillin and some Vikes or whatever and be on me old way?”

 Dr. Blizzblazz:  ”Of course you can, but I hardly see how this will help a person who’s already well into the dying process and only has 36 hours to live.”

 Me:  ”……….”

So right now, I am retiring to bed where I shall hopefully sleep until morning, dreaming about candy and french fries while maintaining my blissful ignorance about the fact that I am dying.  Of a sizable brain tumor.  Before I go (to sleep, not to my grave. for now…), however, I’ll alert you to the true purpose of my post, which is to reveal the results of my iTunes Shuffle Questionnaire.  I love this kind of crap.  I swear on my first and last cat Snowball’s unholy ghost, I did not manipulate these results!!  Which won’t surprise you really, as a lot of the the answers don’t make sense.  Or do they?  No, some of ‘em really don’t.

IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY?   Coffee Cup (Dillon Fence)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?   Where’s Your Kiss?  (Dillon Fence)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?    Biting The Soles Of My Feet  (Electric Soft Parade)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?   Effigy  (Uncle Tupelo)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?   Have A Drink On Me   (AC/DC)

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?  She’s A Mover  (Big Star)

 WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?   Time Wraps Around You  (Velvet Crush)

 WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?   My Moon My Man (Feist)

 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?   Gotta Get Back  (Shelby Lynne)

 WHAT IS 2 + 2?   Snowsuit Sound  (Sloan)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?  Let’s Go Out Tonight  (Michelle Lewis/Kay Hanley writing demo)

 WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?   Don’t Freak Out  (Lindsey Ray/Curt Schneider/Kay Hanley writing demo)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?  Shake It Off (Wilco)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?  You Give Love A Bad Name  (Bon Jovi)

 WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?   Who Will I Be (Demi Lovato)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?    Quiet Storm King (Figdish)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?   Eiffel Tower High  (Husker Du)

 WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?    The Bones Of An Idol  (The New Pornographers)

 WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?    Hangin’ Tree  (Queens Of The Stone Age)

 WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?   Broken Chairs  (Built To Spill)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?    The Pilot’s On The Wall  (Centro-matic)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?   Tears For Affairs  (Camera Obscura)

 - xok