Kay Hanley

  • Shipping up to Boston. 4 hrs ago
  • Listening to Peter Adams' record, Spotlight Floodlight. The song AM, even with no lyrics, practically makes me cry. 16 hrs ago
  • @usamike: Continue being a responsible husband & father. As for me, them hookers and blow ain't gonna do themselves, y'know 1 day ago
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It’s Not Me, It’s You.

December 29th, 2008

Who do you think you are?  It’s not my responsibility to be all “Look at me!  Look at me!!”  all the time.  Yes, I get it.  I am a fascinating person and you want to be updated every single time I do the totally interesting things that I do every moment of the ever loving day.  But you know what?  Your petty, voyeuristic needs are crushing my spirit and thus my interestingness.  That’s right.  I am officially boring.  I have nothing to say for myself.  Thanks a lot, assholes.

 

I’m sorry I said that just now.  I actually love you a great deal.  And because of that, I would like to leave you with this. My last blog post of 2008.  I think.  But I just borrowed my friend’s charger to power up my old camera (thus i have one now. aw, yes…) and Santa brought us Rock Band for our Wii so heaven knows I just may have to pummel you with an assload of info over the next few days.  Or not.  We’ll see.  Whatever.  

 

The point is:  Aren’t we all Kevin Bacon in Footloose at one time or another?  

 

 

  

 

xok 

Letters To Cleo in LA

November 6th, 2008

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Hello there.  One of the many contradictions when dealing with a fascinating and complex creature such as me (myself? what?) is that while I love regaling all 17 of you with tales of my shenanigans, I am also a horrible self promoter.   Which is why there are only 17 of you.  This inconsistency in my personality also explains why I have failed to mention that my old band Letters To Cleo is playing a handful of dates this year to commemorate our former awesome-ness.  

First up:  We will be playing at The Roxy in LA this Saturday night, November 8th at umm…night.  Yes, it’s definitely at night.  The very, very excellent band The Oohlas open.  Let’s go drink some drinks and rock out, shall we? 

The Moment Is Nigh.

November 4th, 2008

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The adorable Trent from Pink Is The New Blog texted me earlier to ask for a picture of me with the I Voted sticker on for his voter photo series.  I’m so glad that he did because I definitely wouldn’t have thought to document this moment on my own. 

When I emailed him the picture, which was of me and Zoe Mabel, I had to mention what this election means to both of us. 

My parents brought me and my sisters to the voting booth.  My Dad always worked for local candidates in Boston and my Mom was a pro-life activist (no, that’s not a mistake) so my formative years were spent completely immersed in the true blood sport of Boston  politics.  I have followed American politics with love, disgust, excitement, anger and most of all (hopefully) respect my whole life.

In turn, USA Mike and I have always brought OUR kids to the polls.  I don’t think Zoe Mabel has ever missed an election in her 9 young years.  This year was especially meaningful, though.  She decided that Barack Obama was her guy last year (no surprise there) and followed the primary season indepently all the way up to the DNC.  We watched the convention every single night and she (along with conroy) cried when Obama delivered his speech.  I am not even kidding.  

Obama’s name on the ballot would have been enough to get her stoked about the election but then she got wind of something else:  Proposition 8.  A ballot initiative asking for an amendment to the Constitution of the state of California that would ban gay marriage.

Being from Massachusetts, we know several gay couples that are married, most notably our friends Brian and Charlie Moore-Ward, whom Z has known her whole life.  Many of our dearest friends here in Los Angeles are gay and nobody, including our children has ever thought anything of it.  

 So when Zoe got wind of Prop 8 she was quite literally shocked and saddened that anybody would want to inflict such insult and/or pain on so many of the people that are important in our lives.  Honestly, I do not have the stomach to even try to explain why such a point of view would exist in this world, so I don’t except to say that any idiot can get a stupid initiative onto a California ballot and maybe it was a horrible mistake.  No matter, I will tell you this:  An activist has been born.

 Alright.  Conroy’s here and we all know what that means.  The polls are beginning to close all over the United States Of America.  Godspeed, Mr. Obama.

 

 

 

  

 

Luvly jubbly, Mademoiselle Cuckoo

October 31st, 2008

One of the most awesome things about being in Miley’s band these days is that we aren’t officially on tour but we still end up working 2 weeks out of the month.  Typically we rehearse in Los Angeles and I’m home in time to pick the kiddos up from school or at the very least sit down to dinner with the family.  The shows are usually 2 day fly-outs or even better, hometown events.  As a mom, this works out very well for the most part.

 

This month has been a bit different.  We are on our second trip to Europe in 3 weeks and I’m completely disoriented.  I’m not even sure what day it is.

 

Oh, wait!  Yes I do!  It’s Thursday and I know this because I woke up in London at 5:15am and dragged my arse to the hotel lobby. I was 5 (or 10, whatever) minutes late, of course, thus drawing the visible and audible contempt of my band mates who are positively the most prompt band in music history.  It’s really annoying how annoyed they get with me, but that’s a whole other story.  Maybe I should get my shit together?  Anyhoodles, we played live on GMTV (london’s big morning talk show) and immediately after, sped away in a convoy of black Mercedes Benz cars that raced us to St Pancras train station so we could make our train to Paris for the rest of the day’s shows.  So that’s also how come I know it’s Thurday.  I took a train to Paris.  Sexy. 

 

schmidley & nadia

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 look mommy! i’m on a train from london to paris!

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 ah, le service. je t’adore eurostar..

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So we get to Paris and and are met by our black Mercedes-Benz convoy (this organization is a machine, i tell you) and gun it to our sound check at Showcase, a venue located under a bridge right on the Seine.  As we drove, I was utterly gobsmacked by the beauty of Paris.  I mean, everyone I know who’s been here is always going on and on about “Seeing Paris is is like suckling at the teat of God himself”  and all that, but seriously:  IT IS.  The radular-ness of Paris cannot be overstated.  Even the Eiffel Tower blew my skull and I’ve been looking at pictures of that old chestnut my whole life.  

We finished sound check and our convoy blazed over to another sound check at the TV show Le Grand Journal.  Then we went to a much needed dinner at a local restaurant.  I had Spaghetti avec Fruits de Mer which was pretty good, but the pièce de résistance was the unspeakably delicious tiramisu.

 

chef d’oeuvre. 

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Back to Le Grand Journal to perform 7 Things and then  booked it back to Showcase to perform a 45 minute set.  It need not even be mentioned that my arse was dragging because I think that’s pretty obvious, but since I like complaining:  My arse, she was a-draggin’.

Happily for me, my gorgeous friend, fellow blogger and Paris resident, Mademoiselle Cuckoo was waiting for me backstage with a glass of Champagne and all of a sudden it was game on.  We hopped into our sweet MB and drove to Le Sers so I could check into my hotel.  One never knows what sort of accommodations to expect when travelling outside of the States so I kept my fingers crossed but I am happy to say that my room was (and is) stunning.   Melissa and I proceeded to jump up and down in my room on the Champs-Élysées like crazed teenagers.  Teenagers that drink Sancerre and smoke cigarettes.

bienvenue à Paris!

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now we’re just being wicked retahhdid 

 

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Bon soir, Madamoiselle Cuckoo, mon ami!  Vive le France!   

 

xok 

What’s The Point?

October 20th, 2008

The Red Sox lost last night.  The Earth’s financial schemes are collapsing.  My favorite morning radio show with Adam Corolla is being overrun with ads calling for people to vote yes on a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage as well as a weird dating website for people who want to cheat on their spouses.  Our nation is squandering blood and treasure in 2 wars, one of which is (or was) completely unnecessary and the other a victim of neglect.  There is the possibility, however remote, that John McCain and his foxy coadjutor, Sarah Pailin, may ascend to the highest office in modern civilization.   It’s Monday morning and I have a teenager style breakout and to add insult to injury I totally chose the wrong frames at Lenscrafters and now I look like this:

 

 

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Where is the fairness in the world?  There is none, I tell you.

SIGH….. Whatever.  Here is some stuff that happened over the past few weeks, months, years.  I don’t even know anymore.  

 

we backed up billy ray at miley’s sweet 16

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 the amazing gary & justine got married in dc

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 met up with jessie in london

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 kelly ozbourne interviews miley backstage in london

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schmidley, me and nadia pub crawling in the ldn 

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I’m off to sing some Care Bears songs and then at the insistence of a horrified USA Mike, go exchange my ill chosen glasses at the mall.  I hate the mall.  But he hates my new glasses more than I hate the mall.  Done and done.

 

xok 

Oh, It’s Coming. Trust me.

September 26th, 2008

I know there are upwards of 7 of you who care about what I have to say on the subject, but please believe that what is happening on Wall Street & Washington DC right now has got me on the verge of meltdown.  There is a post on the way.  

For the moment, let this film clip from Pulp Fiction act as a proxy for me (Samuel L. Jackson),  George W. Bush (the big kahuna burger kid),  Henry Paulson (Flock of Seagulls kid) and featuring the American people as Marcellus Wallace. 

 

 

 

mr. bush, do we look like a bitch?

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I Had A Birthday.

September 25th, 2008

Everyone is up my ass about “Where are the birthday party pictures?” and “Did you put in an order for that walker yet?  Har har.” and “Why can’t you just post the party pictures on your blog already?  Is it because you are suffering from macular degeneration and dementia because you’re like, really old?”

Look, I’ve been busy, ok? Also, I didn’t FEEL like it and we all know how I don’t like doing things that I don’t want to do.  

 

michelle lights the candles.  so many candles.  look at her laughing.

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my friends understand me 

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 usa proposes a toast as i gesticulate

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stacy, bill’s arms, scotty. 

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gary & janet

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me and jess get ready for the party at chez rocker 

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 justine & alexandra

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kristen, kaylyn & gary 

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mario & me. 

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nina & dave 

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jamie, sara & paul 

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me & kristen 

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 jaco & vashon are badasses

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 linda, me and joey

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 kaylyn, fannius & shea.

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 mish & pinky

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 It was an amazing party, needless to say.  There were so many people in that room that I genuinely love, it was a bit overwhelming.  Thank you, sexy people.  You made me the happiest girl in the whole wide world.

 

xok 

Beyonce Kind Of Rules.

September 8th, 2008

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Settle Down, Boys.

September 6th, 2008

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Here we have an exchange on my message board between me and USMCLobo, my resident conservative muckraker.  Things have gotten testy now that the conventions have played out and the Presidential election is in full throttle.  Fun!!!

 

 

USMCLobo wrote:
LaLa wrote:
At least I can rest assured knowing that my dream of bringing blow jobs back to the White House will become a reality.

LaLa, what a rude and crass statement. You should learn to be more demure and lady like. Perhaps an elegant woman like Sarah Palin could teach you some class?

 

Thank you for setting me straight, Lobo.  I think I’ll skip the etiquette lessons but I very much look forward to improving my “abstinence only” dialogue skills under Ms. Palin’s very capable tutelage. My children and I have so much to learn from her example. 

Does anyone else find it ironic that the Republican ticket is responsible for bringing all the sexy talk into the 2008 election? I kind of resent it to be honest, because that’s supposed to be the Democrats’ purview, but that’s okay. Granted, the right has managed to pervert this previously off-limits (unless they are trying to scare, legislate or condemn) biological imperative into a weird “sexy librarian and her house full of sexually promiscuous teens” vibe but still, it feels like the right wing has gone and lost their damn minds over Ms. Palin and I like it! The collective conservative (and beyond) lust for Sarah Palin is so brazen and undisguised that it muddies the waters for any real analysis of her candidacy for the time being. Hey, that’s what sex does to people: it makes them crazy. 

Trust me, most of the response to her has nothing to do with “experience” because if she were Sam Palin, the guy, with the same resume, there is no way she’d be in this position. But I am genuinely fascinated by the fact that she’s unleashing all this pent up missionary position fatigue and making conservative men attribute powers to her that do not exist. 

Let me amend that, her powers do exist but they are almost purely about fantasy.  I’m a woman, so I happen to know about the sway we have over men even when it is unintended.  I liken it to that fortune cookie trick where you read your fortune and add the words “in bed”.  It succeeds in changing the meaning of the words, and therefore the reality, on that tiny slip of paper in front of you every single time. Let’s extrapolate. The fortune cookie is now one of the more nonsensical assertions about Ms. Palin; that she has credible foreign policy experience because of her state’s geographical proximity to Russia. Here goes: 

  • “Sarah Palin is in charge of the Alaskan National Guard so she is the one person in America who truly knows what it would mean to stare down Vladimir Putin and is ready to do so.”

OR

  •  ”Sarah Palin…..blah, blah, blah…  stare down Vladimir Putin and is ready to do so.  In bed.”  

The second one makes much more sense to me. I suspect that this is what is on the minds of all the drooling conservative pundits who tout her respectable yet meager accomplishments as if she were Margaret Thatcher.  

Sorry, Karl Rove, John McCain, William Kristol, USMCLobo, Sean Hannity (Tsk, tsk. I’m disappointed in you Sean. We’ll talk later), and yes, even you Brit Hume, you fancy robot.  We can see your hard-ons and they do not lie.  Hell, I practically have a chubby for Sarah Palin and I am against everything she stands for politically.  So let’s all take a cold shower, shall we?  Because you cannot have a serious discussion about a person’s qualifications for a job when you are clearly thinking about a whole other set of “qualifications” when assessing that person.  

 Be all of that as it may, you are one smart cookie, Sarah Palin. Work that magic pussy all the way to the White House, Guv’ner, and speak the real truth to power.

 

 

 

_________________
I’m just a happy kid 
Stuck with the heart of a sad punk

Atom’s Hair Has An Awesome Phone

September 5th, 2008

My favorite Tennessee rock star, Atom from Mondo Primo (formerly feable weiner) has some kind of side project called Wicked Celtics.  I think the band might be comprised of Atom, his hair and a powerful fan but I haven’t bothered to ask the project is shrouded in mystery so I guess we’ll never know.  

Here is Wicked Celtics’ groundbreaking contribution to the video canon.  Oh, how I love this.