Asphalt Shaking
As you probably know, we had a “moderate” earthquake in Los Angeles today. The epicenter was located 30 miles east of LA in Chino Hills. Here is the email that I sent to my family, who were obviously freaking, especially when I could not be reached on my celly.
It was pretty crazy. We’re still waiting out the aftershocks so we’ll see how the rest of the day goes, but it seems like the worst is over with no injuries or significant damage. This was my second earthquake, actually. The first one was much smaller, but it was the jerking kind so it felt scarier. This one was a rolling earthquake and it didn’t register at first that it even WAS an earthquake. I was waiting in line to order some lunch so of course, I was looking down texting. I started swaying back and forth and felt like I was losing my balance. I was starving so I thought I was dizzy or something and felt like I needed to sit down. Nobody seemed to be freaking out. A minute later someone texted me EARTHQUAKE!!! Then it dawned on me. I haven’t had cell service since because all the providers are jammed.
It occurs to me now that today was one of the most peaceful days I have had in a long time because after the quake I drove back home to use my land line and took my sweet time getting back to work. It was like the west coast equivalent of a snow day from school.
One of the things that I did to waste time today after I decided to not work was cruise around my Google Analytics thingy (thanks schmidley!) and check out the weirdos that are checking out my blog. For those of you who don’t know what Google Analytics is, and I barely do, it’s a tool for quantifying traffic on your website. I just use it to see how many hits per day I get on my blog and where the traffic is coming from (i can’t see email or IP addresses so if you’re stalking me, have no fear. i can’t see the 50-100 hits per week originating from your specific location) but my favorite thing to check out is the keywords that people type into search engines that lead them to my blog. Here are some of the recent winners:
joe jonas ass (explains itself)
charles manson left handed (i need to meet this person)
reklam alany (?)
kay hanley nude (sorry kids, i’m catholic. not remotely findable. unless…)
kay hanley alcoholic (i dunno. i was probably drunk)
o quo tangin wann (oh yeah, that guy. he’s with reklam alany last i heard. and they’re IN MY ATTIC!!!)
Also, lots of really disgusting shit about Miley of course, which I will not repeat for obvious reasons. Several requests for naked pictures of pretty much all the gals on the HM/MC tour. If search engines are the arbiter of truth about the interwebs, then we are all living amongst very, shall we say, singularly focused people. Or I could just say you are all big pervs.
I also spent a bit of time today on youtube finding videos of songs that I loved in my youth. This may or may not cause you to think less of me, but I loved really crappy music in my day. I don’t even know why I am using past tense here because I still love me some crappy music. I like to balance out my otherwise impeccable taste in everything else. Yeah, punk? You wanna say somethin’? Psssshht….
Here’s one of many favorites from back when I had humongous hair and dated jocks that smelled like Polo Cologne. That smell (which is rare to come across these days) still makes me a bit weak in the knees as memories of nervously slow dancing to Open Arms swirl hazily through my brain, but that’s another topic. Other immediate thoughts: Whatever happened to Marilyn McCoo? Also, didn’t Lisa Lisa have huge boobs?
xok