Kay Hanley

Los Angeles is at its Springtime-y peak and the Hanley-Eisenstein posse officially kicked into high gear, Val-stylee. I’ll go through the weekend’s pictures and stories when I’m feeling more industrious but I can’t let the day pass without showing you these pix that Justine took last night.

Zoemay and I were returning from Jessie’s 20th birthday tea party in Santa Monica. We decided to meet USA & Henry at Justine & Gary’s new house, where the boys were working on the unenviable task of setting up surround sound, wireless, Vonage, etc.. Since Z & I were all dressed up, Justine decided to set up an impromptu photo shoot:

Check out Justine’s blog for more photos. She rules.

xok

I didn’t plan to take such an extended break from my life as an e-diarist but everything went ass over teakettle with the unexpected appearance of the holiday season. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t love talking about myself. It just means that I have other stuff to do right now, the most important of which is napping with my little monkeys.

i’ll be back shortly….

Happy Holiday wherever you may be.

xok

Lexington, KY kicks off our re-cap.

Apparently, we played in front of more people at this venue than any other on the tour thus far. Almost 40 million people in attendance! Can you believe that? I finally remembered to bring my camera on stage with me for the occasion. 

 my perspective on things

  joe jonas in flight

j joe jonas in flight

me and candy-o punching the clock 

 CINCINNATI 

Then we went to Cincinnati and played a show, I guess. I don’t remember a single thing about what happened there but here’s a picture that Stacy took of a crazy old bag lady that was hanging around outside of our bus one day.

 poor dear.

TORONTO

There was much hand wringing and gnashing of teeth regarding our border crossing into Canada for the Toronto show. People were extremely concerned about concealed contraband, weapons and criminal records. Me? Clean as a goddamned whistle. Except for that little thing about the stuff and the thing a few years back. It was not even my fault, but whatever. Can we stop talking about this now? Jeez.

  

Toronto, Canada.  I love Canada.  I spent my childhood summers in Nova Scotia.  Some of my favorite bands of the last decade hail from that part of North America. Beautiful, wonderful socialized medicine is a hallmark of their sense of social justice and political enlightenment. The people look foxy but are still polite and friendly. These days, Canada could even be described as a tophat on a turd, but only for another year or so. I hope.  I love you Canada, and I hope you and I get to spend more time together. Let’s not just say it, but really MEAN it this time.

Anyhoo..we got to Toronto and it was snowing. We had a day off before the show but I spent most of the day sleeping. Michael has been telling me forever about his favorite Toronto restaurant, Kit Kat and with the aid of our lovely concierge we were able to score a table at the last minute. I award Kit Kat 4 “hollas” on a scale of 1-5, which is nearly a perfect score, given my level of food-ish knowledge and snobbery. Oh, and I promise to stop using the word holla as soon as I get back

 

home and I have to act my age again.    

We went back to the hotel for a nightcap and ran into a bunch of our other tour people who had the same idea. Management was returning from a very high powered meeting over steaks and red wine and Miley had just come back from a play with her mom Tish, whom I do not socialize with much outside of work. I really like her so it was nice to have a regular conversation that did not revolve around the task at hand.

Then my 15 year old friend made us crash some company’s christmas party at the hotel. Did it occur to me to put the kibosh on the tomfoolery?  No. I seriously have no self discipline, but I do have a very fun life, so here we are. 

gatecrashers 

I danced for awhile and then snuck out so that I could catch Michael and the kiddos for a video iChat before they went to bed.   I am so close to seeing them, I can hardly believe it.  We will be living the life of Riley when we get to Boston. 

 zeros and ones make a happy family

Toronto, to be continued….xok

I was telling Michael how Ryan & Marshall (Miley’s dancers) brought their skateboards on the road and how it’s super fun to cruise around all of the smooth underground parking lots where the buses and semis park at the venues. Even though I ride like an old lady I really love skateboarding.

As luck would have it, I have a husband who actually likes me, listens to what I say to him, knows how to use USPS, is super sexy and above all: totally RULES. Here’s what arrived for me in Chicago! Michael picked out the deck, trucks and wheels at Val Surf and they built it for me. It’s perfect, seriously.

you take your car to work, i’ll take my board.

Here on The Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best Of Both Worlds Tour, we have matinees on weekends and it really throws me off. I’m such a creature of habit that when I have to be at work 3 hours earlier than usual I become incapable of keeping up with the things I normally do during the day, like eating, phoning home and e-journaling. But that doesn’t mean it was not an exciting weekend so let’s go through it, shall we?

We checked into a beautiful hotel in Indianapolis. Let’s call it the Marble Palais. Stacy, Jamie and I adjourned to the festively decorated bar for a nightcap and sang carols around the tree. No we didn’t. We just took this picture.

why is this so funny to me?

We said goodnight and retired for the evening. After I got mostly settled in my room, I remebered that I needed to go back to the lobby for something so I threw my Uggs on over my jammies and headed back downstairs. When I got to the lobby, there was a guy sitting on a pretty sofa being treated by paramedics. He looked pale as if had OD’d or something. I walked out the revolving doors into the cold. There was a Rolls Royce Phantom parked on the sidewalk with the doors wide open, blaring hip hop music. Weird. Cops started pulling up and marking off the area with crime scene tape and one of them asked me to step aside a few feet so as not to disturb the evidence:

can’t get anything past me!

Jamaal Tinsley from the Pacers and his bros had pissed some people off at a club, probably for being blinged out and driving around in a 3 car caravan, including the Phantom. Yeah, that would make me want to fire some shots into the car and risk killing someone. The driver got hit, but he’s fine I guess. Some people in this world are really reckless and stupid.

I grew up in Dorchester so that incident was like another day at the office. Off to sleepyland I went. I had to get up early because hair stylist extraordinnaire, Scott Dowers was coming to the hotel to cut and color me and Candice. Thank you Scott and Alex - we LOVE our hair! And thank you to Chelsea Schwartz for making the introduction.

room service

Michael sent me a picture of Z giving her presentation on Marie Curie this morning. She did an outstanding job. Be careful when viewing this photo. You may die from the cuteness.

love, love, love.

Today is a day off in Columbus and it looks pretty bleak out there. Room service coffee is good, though.

xok

I feel like I just woke up from a dream. After the Ft. Lauderdale show on Tuesday night, the rest of the Hannah tour rolled on to Nashville and I stayed behind to catch a flight to New York for my debut at the the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. I have no idea where to start in retelling this story so I guess I’ll just begin at the beginning.

Last year, I was asked by American Greetings to appear in the parade to perform one of the songs I wrote with USA Mike for the Care Bears. I said yes (because I say yes to everything) not realizing what that meant (because I never really think about what happens after I say yes to things). Well sure enough, the time arrived. Macy’s arranged for first class everything so I and my family hopped on our flights in first class seats; me from Ft. Lauderdale and Michael, Zoemay and Henry from Los Angeles to meet in New York.

The car service picked me up at LaGuardia and deposited me at the London, a splendid hotel in mid-town. I dropped off my things in my spectacular suite and went down to the hotel bar for a snack and a drink. This is where the excursion began to take shape. I was walking through the lobby and ran into Fan’s dad, Elliot Lurie who also happens to manage Corbin Bleu (cutie!) who also happened to be in the parade. As we’re talking, I hear “KAY!”. I turn around and here come the Jonas Brothers, Miley’s opening act and my fellow float riders, who seemed slightly confused to see me there. Hugs and pleasantries are exchanged and I was all “I’ve been trying to tell you for 2 weeks that I was going to be here!!” No matter, we were all happy to see each other. Okay, bye lobby people, I have to eat dinner.

I’m eating and having a glass of wine and Benji & Joel Madden plop down at the bar beside me. We had all worked together on a Shut Up Stella thing last year. “Hey guys!” We chit chatted for a bit, mostly about Joel’s impending fatherhood. As it turned out, we all needed to be in SoHo so we grabbed a cab and rolled downtown together. We all hopped out at Ludlow and Houston and went our separate ways.

One of my favorite stylists, Jackie Atkins had agreed to be my stylist for the parade. She has 2 shops on Ludlow called Pear and Plum, respectively. I arrived an hour late but she was cool about it. We caught up, drank wine and tried on piles of clothes. Here’s Jackie at Pear, the shoe wing of her empire:

Michael had dropped of the kiddos at his Mom’s house in Jersey and came to meet me at Jackie’s store so we could go out to dinner and enjoy some private time before the onslaught. The 3 of us agreed on 3 possible outfits for the parade and Michael and I split to find some food. We didn’t have to go very far. I forget the name of the place (gah! why do i always do that??) but they had a bazillion beers on tap and my favorite food. Oysters from the Atlantic ocean, specifically from the freezing salty waters off the northern coast of America.

my man is wicked cute

After dinner, Michael drove me back to the hotel and we said our goodbyes and such. He went back to Jersey so he could retrieve the kids and bring them to the grandstands in the morning and I went to sleep because Jackie and my make-up gal, Amy were coming at 5:30am to get me ready for the parade. A little drunk and very happy, I slept like a dead person.

The alarm went off at 5:15am like an air raid and I reluctantly extricated my tired ass from my fluffy bed. Amy arrived right on time and I showered while she set up. Jackie was a saint and made a coffee run on the way. The 3 of us got everything done by 7:30, only 15 minutes late for my car.

amy and me and my outfit. aww yeah.

I rode over to the “talent” site with my chaperone Frances in a car that was big enough for like, 40 people. There were a bunch of buses that acted as the green room where we all waited for our turns to get on our floats.
Well lookie here, check out who’s on my bus. I’m sorry, but Joe and Nick Jonas are getting pretty darned good at the steely-eyed stare into the camera. That’s Jordin Sparks in the middle, btw. Lovely girl.

Other people on my bus? Anika Noni Rose (dreamgirls), Corbin Bleu, Ashley Tisdale, Michael Feinstein (jazzy piano dude), Willard Scott (!) and the oldest woman in the world. I tried to ask her how old she was, her name, did she need help to the bathroom, etc., but she couldn’t hear me so I can’t actually tell you anything else about her except that she is the oldest lady in the world. Or maybe just the United States. She looked quite good for her age, whatever age she may have been which I assumed to be very, very old.

Okay! It’s finally time for me to go to my Care Bears float, which is way at the end. A few things: I have never been to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. I have been told nothing about what I am supposed to do. I mean, I walk through my everyday life in a slightly baffled state but now I am just plain old disoriented. This is what I see when I take in my Care Bears float for the first time:

oh. my. god.

Skating Care Bears. At this point, one just needs to go with it.

We start slooooowly driving (riding? floating?) down Central Park West to Columbus Circle through Times Square.
It was truly surreal.

As we cruised into the the final stretch, some guy hops on the float and puts an NBC mic in front of me with no explanation. By a careful and quick series of deductions, I assume that I am supposed to sing into it at some point. Will a song play? If so, when? Shit! I have NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!! I hear a familiar voice which I identify as Matt Lauer’s saying something from somewhere that I can’t see about blah blah blah blah Kay Hanley. WHAT??!! I hear music - is that my Care Bears song? Yes. I am totally freaking out. How did I get here? Okay, just go with it. Wait, it’s over? What just happened? I am whooshed from my float by a pack of guys that would look perfectly appropriate running alongside a Presidential motorcade and the next thing I know I am sitting in my giant car again all by myself. I am soon joined by Michael, Zoemay and Henry and we rode back to the hotel together. Whoa.

Michael opened a half bottle of wine, I started packing my bags and the kids jumped on the bed while delighting in the fact that they could do so while switching channels on the flatscreen TV. It was beautiful.

Then it was off to Nana’s. It was awesome to spend the day with Michael’s family, some of whom I have not seen in a few years. I think this was the first time all the cousins have been in the same place together. Aww..

zoe, alex, hannah, matthew, joshua, justin and henry

Oh, and Nana has a new Golden puppy named Jessie James. The cuteness is kind of ridiculous.

By 8pm or so I was completely running on fumes so we decided to start wrapping things up. My flight to Nashville was at 7:55am so Michael, Henry Z and I got in Nana’s sweet Acura and drove back to the city. We all slept together in my gigantic bed. The alarm went off at 5am and I quietly gathered my things to head back to work. This is what was in my bed when I left NY.

I have a lot to be grateful for. The End.

xok

Oh, it was all so easy before; back in the olden times of 3 weeks ago when we were just starting out. Way back then, I knew that if I forgot my favorite jammies, eye cream, Arrested Development dvd, various unmentionables, etc., I’d be back home in Los Angeles to collect said items and then get a second chance, even. Not anymore. I don’t even think there are like, stores or currency once we get into the middle of this thing. I am so screwed.

Staples Center. Awesome. So many reasons. So few words. But you know me - I’ll do my best. Michael decided to take Henry out for a boys night and avoid the madness, which freed Zoemay to go with her girlfriends and gave me the chance for one last hurrah with my MILFy homegirls from the ‘hood *ahem, the val*. Carol supplied the tickets, I supplied the backstage passes, Courtney supplied the ruthlessly sarcastic wit and the girlie-os supplied the cuteness. If you put a gun to my head and forced me to pick just one reason for me to have taken this job it would be:

miley, isabel, zoemay, kate

Then we all went back to the tour bus to ride back to Studio City and say goodbye. I miss you already.

the rockers, the soccers and the von halens. hollaaa!!!

I dropped Hank off at school for the last time at 8:45am while Z got to sleep in because we got back so late. Michael and I dropped her off at school around 10:30am and expected to get the stinkeye from her teacher. Ms. C was very understanding, thank heavens. I think I might have fallen apart completely if I had to say goodbye to Z under any sort of harshness. As it was, I could barely let her go and only left the classroom because I was about to cry in front of a bunch of 3rd graders.

Yesterday was San Diego. After the pandemonium of the LA show, SD was a bit of a let down. Sorry San Diego Sports Arena, it’s not you, it’s me. The exciting thing for me about yesterday was hooking up with Fan and Kristen from Shut Up Stella after the show. I loved every single second that I got to spend with them. Some things just don’t change.

And now I am here in Phoenix after having slept half the night on the couch in the front lounge of the bus. I have to stop doing that. Naomi and her family are coming tonight so it should be another awesome hang.

xok

I’m on my way to the Staples Center for our big show. Well, it’s a big show for me because Zoe Mabel is coming with her friends Kate & Isabel along with my friends Carol and Courtney. I don’t know why I’m so nervous but my stomach is in knots.

We had a lovely day off yesterday into today. I managed to see some of my favorite people, however briefly for some very efficient catching up. Michelle and I are trying to run our production company in my absence so it was fabulous that I was able to make it home for the Art Is War quarterly shareholders meeting.

Jessie came over yesterday to re-cut a vocal on something she wrote with Michael and me a few years ago that she wants to start pitching. I was so happy to see her and so was Z, as you can see.

What last 30 minutes in Los Angeles would be complete without a power lunch with Conroy and USA Mike? The conversation was dominated by what else? The writers strike. We are on Team Writers, but I think that’s fairly obvious.

So, yeah. Staples Center. Wow, even I’m impressed. And scared. I could easily throw up, I think but I won’t because the dancers were nice enough to let Mike, Vashon & me hitch a ride on their bus. Thanks Mandy & Ashlee!!

xok

The Oakland show was pretty cool. Miley’s Dad, Billy Ray Cyrus showed up to perform a duet with Miley and the band called “Ready, Set, Don’t Go”. Miley’s big sister Brandi sat in on acoustic guitar. Billy Ray reminds me so much of Johnny Damon, it’s kind of spooky.

We rolled out of Oakland and got to LA at around 5am. There are really no words to describe just how awesome it was to walk Zoe Mabel to school, listen to the final mixes of my record with Michael and check out Henry’s new Legos. The pièce de résistance of the day was sushi together at Katsu-ya.

henry and michael

zoemay and me

Then we went to our neighbors’ house for a playdate. The nature of an evening playdate at the Pisarik’s is best summed up like this:

Lots of wine and lots of kiddos. Zoemay read Simone her bedtime story while Courtney, Michael, Michael and I polished off a bottle of Chassagne Montrachet.

It was a perfect day off. Back to work for me.

xok