Tears For Affairs
I’ve had this weird ear thing off and on for the past few months. You know how when you’re on a plane and you’re landing and your ears get all cloggy so you open your jaw like you’re yawning or chew gum to un-clog them? It’s exactly like that but since I’m not on a plane, it affects only the right side and the weird sensation doesn’t respond to yawning or gum-smacking, my vertigo-inducing ear thing is most likely a brain tumor which is why there is no way in hell that I am going to see a doctor about this.
Dr. Blizzblazz: ”Kay, I can’t believe you’ve been walking around in this condition for months. Clearly, you have a saint-like threshold for pain and discomfort.”
Me: ”Well, Dr. B, I have a lot of responsibilities. When so many people depend on you, who has the time or inclination to get sidetracked by a silly old ear thing? I mean, those blind Gypsy orphans ain’t gonna teach themselves to run edits on a pro-tools rig! Am I right or am I right? Haha! Anyhoodles, I’m late for my lunch at The Peninsula so can I just get some like, penicillin and some Vikes or whatever and be on me old way?”
Dr. Blizzblazz: ”Of course you can, but I hardly see how this will help a person who’s already well into the dying process and only has 36 hours to live.”
Me: ”……….”
So right now, I am retiring to bed where I shall hopefully sleep until morning, dreaming about candy and french fries while maintaining my blissful ignorance about the fact that I am dying. Of a sizable brain tumor. Before I go (to sleep, not to my grave. for now…), however, I’ll alert you to the true purpose of my post, which is to reveal the results of my iTunes Shuffle Questionnaire. I love this kind of crap. I swear on my first and last cat Snowball’s unholy ghost, I did not manipulate these results!! Which won’t surprise you really, as a lot of the the answers don’t make sense. Or do they? No, some of ‘em really don’t.
IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY? Coffee Cup (Dillon Fence)
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? Where’s Your Kiss? (Dillon Fence)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Biting The Soles Of My Feet (Electric Soft Parade)
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Effigy (Uncle Tupelo)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Have A Drink On Me (AC/DC)
WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO? She’s A Mover (Big Star)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Time Wraps Around You (Velvet Crush)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? My Moon My Man (Feist)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Gotta Get Back (Shelby Lynne)
WHAT IS 2 + 2? Snowsuit Sound (Sloan)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Let’s Go Out Tonight (Michelle Lewis/Kay Hanley writing demo)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Don’t Freak Out (Lindsey Ray/Curt Schneider/Kay Hanley writing demo)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Shake It Off (Wilco)
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? You Give Love A Bad Name (Bon Jovi)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Who Will I Be (Demi Lovato)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Quiet Storm King (Figdish)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Eiffel Tower High (Husker Du)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? The Bones Of An Idol (The New Pornographers)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Hangin’ Tree (Queens Of The Stone Age)
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW? Broken Chairs (Built To Spill)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? The Pilot’s On The Wall (Centro-matic)
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? Tears For Affairs (Camera Obscura)
- xok