Kay Hanley

Last night we had a lovely party to celebrate the 9th anniversary of the birth of our best gal, Zoe Mabel. Her birthday isn’t actually until next week but this was the last chance to get all of her homies together before she leaves for Cape Cod for the summer. She is such a good kid, I have to *squink squink* my eyeballs in amazement sometimes.

 they all look like teenagers now.  go easy on me, please.

The night before, USA returned from 2 weeks on the road with Rob Dickinson.  For the first week that he was away I held down the fort like a champ but after several Celtics games and pool parties where everyone converged on the home of the rockers, my well oiled machine quickly began coming off the rails.  Here’s a roundup of the 2 weeks that USA was away and all the hooligans that forced me to rock out while the laundry and dishes piled up.

 bill likes to tickle. carol is supportive. stacy gets cozy in front of the tv.

jamie & joey seem nice enough but that kaylyn has always been a troublemaker.

  carol & courtney reprazent tha LMV

At one point during game 5 of the Celtics/Lakers series, my neighbor Ami (a lakers fan) snuck away from the game action in the living room briefly enough to a) not be missed and b) do this to my son.

 this is so wrong. put a yankees cap on him while you’re at it.

Not for nothing, but Carol took this picture and several others.  Thanks a lot, MILFA, I see how it is now.  When I found the pictures on my camera I jumped up and down, threw a fit and proclaimed righteous indignation to all those involved (including ami’s wife and kid) but between me and you, I thought it was pretty funny.  Look at poor Henry with his Rondo shirt underneath the Kobe one, knowing that he was doing something he shouldn’t.  Also, as a lifelong Boston sports fan, I had to respect the cojones.  Don’t tell Ami that though, because he and Jackie owe us dinner because the stupid LAKERS LOST.  HAHA!!!  The more guilt I pour on, the more impressive the dinner will be, is how I figure it.

Other things that have happened over the last few weeks:

The members of one of the bands I’m in went down to Nashville for a week to shoot scenes for a movie.  I think I signed some sort of confidentiality agreement, so I can’t reveal what the movie was or any details, but I think it’s fair to post some pix.  

 me standing in for the star

  stacy and schmidley with some girl.

 One of my closest girlfriends, Melissa Eltringham, moved to Nashville last year.  I cannot express how happy I was to see her and catch up.  When she showed up at my hotel to pick me up for dinner, Hillary Clinton was on CNN giving what we thought was going to be a concession speech (’twas not to be).  We spent the first 15 minutes of our long awaited reunion glued to the TV watching an historic moment in American politics.  How fitting.  It’s a gift to have women like her in my life.  

  love ya, melisse. whoreanous mani/pedi and all…

Henry graduated from pre-school so naturally he and his friends wanted to celebrate at McDonald’s.  He and the guys are all big kindergarteners now.  Gah!  How did that happen?

hank, ryan, aidan & caleb moving up in style.

 On deck:  a whole lot of nothing, I hope.  And then I have to learn the new Miley record for our dates this month.  More to come….

xok 

Fan_3 just sent me this video that she made. Homegirl has BALLS. I love this.

I’m just about finished packing for my flight to NY tomorrow where I will be joining the Miley Cyrus Experience for the Z100 show followed by a private event for Net Jets. To answer your obvious follow up question, no, I am not flying on a Net Jet. I have a cozy little compartment in the baggage hold of an early morning FedEx flight. This works out fine because I have a couple of Xanax, a flask of Southern Comfort and Hello Kitty sleeping bag. I’ve been told that these planes only fly at 32,000 ft so I will most likely have enough oxygen to survive the trip but even if I don’t, I will be none the wiser.

The past week was pretty eventful. Saturday, Miley played at Wango Tango, the radio fest for KIIS out here in LA. I got to see the Jonas Brothers and their band, whom I adore, as you may know. We played some new songs and we also got new wardrobe. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. Candy-o and I went to the celebrity gifting suite, which is a thing that I’ve heard about, but have never gotten to partake in. In a nutshell, a bunch of retailers set up booths in a location where celebrities may or may not be and they GIVE their stuff to them in the hopes that their stuff will show up in US Weekly. Please kill me for knowing this.

free stuff? for us? no we couldn’t!

i like the jobros. they’re nice.

After the show we booked it to our van as fast as we could and blazed back to LA for Justine’s birthday party. We arrived with plenty of time to spare.

the best sister-in-law EVER

i suffered a booty shaking injury because of conroy’s dj skillz

Sunday was

Mothers Day. I had a leisurely morning with the people whom I gave birth to and the father of those people. It was lovely. USA Mike knows how much I miss the the WRKO broadcast of the Red Sox games so for that reason (among others) he got me XM radio for my car and the house. Yay.

Then Z and I went over the hill to check out the video shoot where Miley & Mandy were doing their thing. Apparently they’ve got some kind of dance feud going with the ACDC Crew so they decided to lay the smack down with a huge production. Ah, the world would be a much better place if we could all just lay down our weapons and settle our conflicts through dance battles.

 

b-girlz!!!!

 

 

 

Time for sleepy. Be back soon with reports from the weekend..

 

xok

 

 

USA Mike has been in the studio producing an album for the lovely Lauren for the past week and a half so I have cut back my work schedule to take on some serious mommy duty.  Honestly, I don’t know how stay-at-home moms do this job 7 days a week.  It’s really exhausting.  The nice part, aside from spending rare daytime hours with the kiddos, is that I’ve been doing a lot of cooking and entertaining at home.                 

Jack had a few weeks off from the Jonas Brothers tour so he and Ashlee, one of my favorite ladies from the Miley tour, came over last Friday for dinner.  It was great to catch up with them and get all of the latest news of their lives.  Ash is putting in some major time with her drum lessons and Jack is about to embark on a hugely ambitious year with the JoBros.  Henry and Z are always over the moon to hang out with cool people that they met on tour.

jack, ashlee & z 

ash & z with the lushis-mobile                 

 Over the weekend, we had our somewhat regular Sunday pool party bbq.  During the summer months (when we aren’t in boston) we try to get as many people as possible over to our house on the weekends to swim, eat and drink.  The last variable of that equation usually has me feeling like shit on Monday morning, but it’s always worth it.

luke, kate & henry 

luke & isabel 

 omg, it’s milo & jackson!!!

Last week, I went to the 40th birthday party of one of my best girlfriends, Kaylyn Thornal.   At some point during our 15 year friendship, I became a soccer mom and she became a hot lesbian director.  It’s as if that song “Ebony & Ivory” was written just for us, but instead of a song about blacks and whites, it’s breeders and dykes.  I’m not sure who’s Stevie Wonder and who’s Paul McCartney in this relationship but I love her a lot and she, me.

mish, kaylyn, fan & kristen 

me & my besties.

Michael & I just bought a painting  by the artist Tim Bavington.  As always, the brilliant Naomi was the person who introduced this beautiful piece of art into our lives but I have to be honest:  I am terrified now that I have this thing in my house.   If Henry throws one of his Indiana Jones daggers in the wrong direction, we will be screwed to the tune of a new car and then I will be forced to administer a near fatal beating to my own flesh and blood.  Trust me when I say that I can think of a dozen similar scenarios between my children and this painting that might reasonably result in me resorting to some kind of violence, and that’s kind of scary.  Hey, beauty is truth. Sometimes brutally so.  Check out our awesome new painting!

naomi & the bavington   

 For those of you who have asked for my opinion on the Miley Cyrus maelstrom, here is my answer.  

 i don’t care. nor should you.

Solidarity,

Kay 

Due to the nature of my work, I have acquaintances from all over the world and from all sorts of backgrounds.  Some of the people that I know start out as Cleo fans or posters on my message board and then somehow they just become part of my life.   A few weeks back, one of the KH message board peeps sent me an email saying that he and his wife were coming to LA from Chicago to hang out, so despite having never met in person, we made plans to have lunch.  It’s funny how in this day and age, when we do so much of our communicating over the web, that you can meet someone for the first time and connect as if you already know each other because you DO know each other from sharing similar virtual interests, sometimes for years.  It’s a strange kind of vetting process, isn’t it?

Adi and Shayna showed up at 11:45am.  I showed them around our house and then brought them out back to check out our recording studio and introduce them to USA Mike, who never leaves the damn place, and then we strolled over to Mexicali on Ventura for some people watching and grub. It was a gorgeous afternoon even by LA standards so we chose a table outside and caught up on what has been happening with all of us; their years in Israel before they were a couple, my cockamamie schemes, real estate in Los Angeles, blah, blah.  Because Adi and Shayna are newlyweds, the conversation about how they met and got married came up quickly.

• • adi:   “it was kind of a saga.”
  • me:   “the best stories always are.”
  • shayna:   “does she know?”
  • adi:  “no.”
  • me: “what are you talking about?”
  • shayna:   “i was shot in the chest during a terrorist attack in israel.”
  • me:   “……….” 

 Hands down, they are the all time winners of the “how we met” contest with their star-crossed, globe-trotting, death-defying tale of love ignored, found, lost and then found again.   The tale also reminds me that even one life lost to violence and war diminishes all of our lives.   The innocent woman blown up by a god driven terrorist in Kabul, Jerusalem, Karachi, New York, Mosul, Yemen, London or Mogadishu is surely someone’s daughter, sister or mother, but she may also be your future wife and mother to the children you hope to have someday.

 That was the the most fascinating lunch conversation I’ve ever had guys, and I thank you for sharing the story with me.

  shayna & adi     

After I parted ways with my fabulous lunch companions I had to get back to the house and take care of a bunch of stuff and then get ready for sound check at the Henry Fonda Theatre.  Michelle had been asked by our friend David Gray at Island Records to put together groups of backup singers for an Aussie superstar by the name of Delta Goodrem who was performing industry showcases in NY and LA.  Since I am totally a profesh backup singer now, Mish roped me into generously offered me a job on her LA team.   It was actually a lot of fun.  The other singers, Nadia and Brandon (stacy lynes, i’ll give you one guess where you know brandon from) are ridiculously good, as is Michelle, so I’m sure nobody noticed when I stopped singing at a critical moment at the end of the very spare piano/vocal song because I started choking.  Literally AND figuratively.   Sorry about that, Delta.  At least we know it will never happen again. 

 On that note, I’m deciding that being a professional backup singer kind of sucks.  I’ve only ever done the backup gig with Miley and I LOVE that job so I assumed that you get always treated a certain way.  Even though Delta was super pro and respectful, I had this weird “faceless employee” feeling all night that made me think that the backup singer career has the potential to be a little dehumanizing.   No matter, even at its crappiest, any career where you get to sing or play music all the time beats punching a clock.  

we will not work under these conditions!!  unless you pay us. 

 xok  

Especially cute rock boys from the south. If they are from Georgia, all the better as far as I’m concerned. The first time I met Butch Walker, he actually replied to something I said to him with an un-ironic “Yes, ma’am.” Southern rock boys look as stylishly dangerous as any band from Brooklyn or London but with none of the contrivance. They will say “please” and “excuse me” and listen patiently as you breathlessly embarrass yourself attempting to offer some interesting points that they’ve never heard before about how awesome their band is because you want them to think you’re clever and maybe ask you out for beers later but then you get all off message and weird and end up saying something stupid about their leather jacket or their haircut and now they’ll never want to make out with you because you’re just like everyone else but with the added bonus of being a dimwit. Still, they will blush a little and say “thank you so much, that really means a lot” and you will feel like they really mean it. When I say you I mean YOU, not me, because I am cool as a cucumber, baby.

Anyhoodles, Stacy is producing this band from Atlanta called The Modern Society and they invited me down to the studio to sing a couple of background bits on their new album. They are totally super-dee-duper. When I listen to their music over and over, alone in my secret room with lit candles, a bottle of scotch and The Modern Society posters as wallpaper I think of J. Mascis fronting Superdrag. If you know me, you will realize that this is high praise indeed.

hi. we’re the modern society. you may swoon now.

A few weeks back I did an interview with Vivian Manning-Schaffel for a parenting blog called Babble.com. I’ve never done an interview that focused on motherhood before, so it was kind of a nice shift of focus from the typical Q&A, which after 20 years has gotten pretty tedious. Thanks for going easy on me my first time out, Vivian. Check out the article here

Okay, then. Have a nice weekend. Bye.

xok

When I was a kid, Easter Sunday meant 3 things:

1) Very rare Hanley family clothes shopping trip for new patent leather shoes and frilly dress combo

2) 2 hour Mass

3) Spring had sprung

Nowadays, Easter is a harbinger of Summer in Los Angeles because Spring is pretty much a thing of the past by late March. I don’t go to Mass anymore because nobody makes me. But come to think of it, I did wear patent leather shoes today. I didn’t even do that on purpose!!! Most of my friends are Jewish or Protestants of some kind, so at this time of year we all do a mishmash of holiday celebrations that are meant to acknowledge our cultural backgrounds. We eat a ton of food, drink a ton of wine and the kids and dogs are stoked. Yay.

I have no idea where I was going with all that. Let’s get to the fun of my non-denominational Easter weekend!

On Friday I had a sort-of-but-not-really business lunch at Alcove in Los Feliz with my dear friend Chad. I wish I could have lunch with him every day because he is just the bee’s knees. If I wasn’t a married woman and Chad didn’t think girls were yucky, we would be like totally whatever, y’know?

sigh…

Friday night was a typical StuCid yuppie fest with the Soccers, a few other neighbors, all the kiddos and many, many bottles of wine. Do people still say yuppie, btw? Now that I kind of am one I would like to be able to finally claim this pejorative as my own. Girl cannot live on liberal elitist alone, y’know.

My friend Mario runs this website that he’s been trying to get off the ground the entire time I’ve known him. I don’t get all show-offy with him about my blog getting upwards of several hundred hits a week because I don’t want to shit on his happiness or diminish his accomplishments. Or maybe that’s hits per month. Whatever. The point is, he’s got his little “thing” and I support him entirely because that’s the kind of person I am. Last night was Mario’s 30th birthday so Fan, Kristen, Kaylyn and I slapped on some lip gloss and went to his birthday party. For some reason, The Pussycat Dolls got lost on their way to the street walking whore convention and ended up shaking it for us at le petite soirée. They were so nice to humor him by being good sports and not acknowledging their blunder. Klassy.

{vidavee id=”6534″ w=”320″ }

fan & mario

marc, you know i adore you but the summer ‘08
collection is not that fierce. it’s just alright for me, dawg.
your new bf is super cute though.

ted and k-squeeze

hooligans

hey z, look at me!!!

If you know me, you know that I am a big fan of the gay people. But for some reason I cannot get with the tranny lip synchers. Why do the gay boys like that crap so much? And here’s an even better question: Why is Andy Milonakis still showing up at stuff and acting like a moron? I remember cracking a smile once when I thought he was 12 and he was singing “the superbowl is gay” but a lot of time has passed since that smile crossed my lips lo those many years ago. That passing time has not been filled with laughter. Here’s Andy wacky-ing it up in front of Kiki & Herb who were performing Total Eclipse Of The Heart. Of course they were.

oh andy, will the fun never start?

We had a really fun night. And then I went home and slept like a rock. A somewhat inebriated, gussied up rock. Thanks for the always excellent party, M. Yer the best.

I’ll try and post my pix from Gil & Nina Junger’s Easter egg hunt tomorrow. Sleepy.

xok

Los Angeles is at its Springtime-y peak and the Hanley-Eisenstein posse officially kicked into high gear, Val-stylee. I’ll go through the weekend’s pictures and stories when I’m feeling more industrious but I can’t let the day pass without showing you these pix that Justine took last night.

Zoemay and I were returning from Jessie’s 20th birthday tea party in Santa Monica. We decided to meet USA & Henry at Justine & Gary’s new house, where the boys were working on the unenviable task of setting up surround sound, wireless, Vonage, etc.. Since Z & I were all dressed up, Justine decided to set up an impromptu photo shoot:

Check out Justine’s blog for more photos. She rules.

xok

That’s right asshole, keep on walking. If you wanna keep your teeth in your head tonight, you better respect and recognize. When you see us walking towards you down Ventura Blvd in Studio City you’d be wise to cross the street and keep your eyes down low, son. We got babysitters and/or permission slips from our baby daddies and we are NOT FUCKING AROUND. Check out my bitches: Moms I’d Like To Form A Streetgang With. We’re so crazy, we don’t even care if our acronyms match perfectly or not. Yeah, fucko, we’re talking to you.

ooooh! new zealand sauvignon blanc!!

I am almost through my second day without a cigarette and it is not a pretty sight. I came to the decision to commit to this undertaking whilst hiding from my husband and children in the backyard of our home, unbathed after several wretched days of sleeping upright on the couch, suffering from fever and coughing to the point of vomiting, barely able to take a normal breath because of the pain of pneumonia yet crouched over in the cold night air desperately inhaling nicotine into my frail, rattling lungs. Self loathing has never been my bag, but there I was.

I love smoking, I really do. On the other hand, I am a joie de vivre kind of person and while I am not against the warm embrace of life enhancers that are bad for me, the smoking thing just isn’t making me happy the way it used to, y’know? In fact, it’s starting to seriously bum me out.

Oddly enough, I really blossomed as a smoker out here in Los Angeles because it’s a great way to occupy the incalculable, stultifying hours that one spends ripping their hair out while sitting in traffic all day. I can smoke like, 7 cigarettes driving home to Studio City from a Friday meeting in Santa Monica and only lean on my horn and threaten other drivers 2 or 3 times. If I didn’t smoke, I am quite sure that blood would have been spilled on several of those occasions instead. Also, it’s such a defiant statement about me being super punk rock and not following the stupid rules of the SoCal health nazi establishment. I can tell that this gives me instant respect among my potential clients as I excuse myself from a deal making/breaking lunch meeting to go make a “phone call” and come back smelling like Keith Richards. Cool, no? I can see the aspiration in the eyes of the other children in Zoemay’s 3rd grade class even as they scold her about her poor mother who will surely die bleeding from every orifice - any second now - according to the LA school district’s mandated “no fun” curriculum which is taught with great dramatic flair by their teacher. As a brief aside, why does that kid always rat me out?? I guess I should halt my plans to build that meth lab in the guest bedroom… Whatever, I will have to adjust. I will obtain cred and avoid violence by other means.

Yeah, I know I’m doing the right thing and you’re so proud of me and chin up you can get through it and go get the patch/chantix/a shaman because that will really help and you know how I feel because you just quit last year and it’s so great and I’ll live so much longer for the children blah blah blah so just shut the fuck up, okay? BECAUSE I AM REALLY REALLY TENSE RIGHT NOW AND I MAY DO SOMETHING RASH WITH LITTLE PROVOCATION. Please, just leave it out. I am holding a glass of really good scotch with white knuckles. That will be quite enough.

Alright Then,

Kay

Ok, I’m mostly better aside from a few lingering aches and pains. Man, having pneumonia totally sucked.

I am back in Los Angeles with my cherished family & friends. I also went back to work this week, which meant going to lots of meetings, drinking 100 cups of coffee and eating the excellent fresh food that Los Angeles is famous for. Wait, is LA famous for that? LA is famous for a lot of things including being the #1 place on Earth where people go to meetings, %27 of which seem to be attended by me and Michelle.

I was layed up for the Grammys so I never made it out, but some of my favorite people were in town for the occasion. At the top of the list? My longtime attorney Elliot Groffman and his wife Hillary. To illustrate just how deep the connection is, their children named the family dog Cleo in 1995. In any event, they managed to do the impossible, which was to snag a coveted lunch reservation at Mozza. Michael and I got to be their dates and we were treated to incredible food combined with the loveliest company we could ever ask for.

the groffmans always get a table.

I have only had rare occasion to mention this until now, but I have an unbelievably cool group of friends in LA. Last weekend, when I was feeling better, Greg & Amiira Behrendt hosted a pizza party playdate to welcome me home. The pizza party playdate is like a normal playdate except for it’s at night, all the dads come and there’s wine. It felt great to catch up with everyone and watch the kids run around.

hometown throwdown

nina & ivy

wee princesses

my boyfriend jackson petty!

On an entirely different subject: Facebook, Facebook. Why have you become the bain of my existence? Why have you turned even my most moderate and intelligent acquaintences into vampiric, popularity seeking, invitation whoring spam machines? I don’t want a virtual drink. I don’t want to write on a fun wall. I don’t have time to play scrabble with you, although that one sounds at least a little bit fun. I definitely don’t want a hug, a kiss, a poofight, to confirm that I’m hot, an orgasm, join the Oregon Trail (6 requests!), good karma or a superpoke. And since I turn down the majority of friend requests from people that I don’t know, these are presumably from my actual friends although I haven’t gone through the 100 or so pending requests to confirm this.

The reason I bring it up is because there is one delightful side of Facebook. Sometimes you really do reconnect with people you might not otherwise. Case in point: The exceptional Melissa, whom I know through my friend Nina, is an American living in Paris. She contacted me through Facebook and now I know that she too, has a blog. It’s called Guaranteed Personality, which makes me like it automatically, but clever title aside, it is a top-quality read. Funny, sarcastic, smart, insightful. Check out my new favorite smarty pants, Mademoiselle Cuckoo.

xok