Kay Hanley

The Red Sox lost last night.  The Earth’s financial schemes are collapsing.  My favorite morning radio show with Adam Corolla is being overrun with ads calling for people to vote yes on a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage as well as a weird dating website for people who want to cheat on their spouses.  Our nation is squandering blood and treasure in 2 wars, one of which is (or was) completely unnecessary and the other a victim of neglect.  There is the possibility, however remote, that John McCain and his foxy coadjutor, Sarah Pailin, may ascend to the highest office in modern civilization.   It’s Monday morning and I have a teenager style breakout and to add insult to injury I totally chose the wrong frames at Lenscrafters and now I look like this:

Where is the fairness in the world?  There is none, I tell you.

SIGH….. Whatever.  Here is some stuff that happened over the past few weeks, months, years.  I don’t even know anymore.  

we backed up billy ray at miley’s sweet 16

 the amazing gary & justine got married in dc

 met up with jessie in london

 kelly ozbourne interviews miley backstage in london

schmidley, me and nadia pub crawling in the ldn 

I’m off to sing some Care Bears songs and then at the insistence of a horrified USA Mike, go exchange my ill chosen glasses at the mall.  I hate the mall.  But he hates my new glasses more than I hate the mall.  Done and done.

xok 

When I started this little writing experiment last Fall it was because I wanted to document my first gig as a back-up vocalist.  On the biggest concert tour in history.  Also, Greg Garbo from the Jonas Brothers and Miley’s keyboard player, Mike Schmid were both blogging so I felt it was my responsibility to talk about myself too, because lordy knows they were not going to talk about me nearly enough for my liking.  I have a track on Weaponize called Strange Life so I christened my blog with that title.  It seemed fitting.

Here we are, 10 months later and my life has never been stranger.  I mean this in a good way. It is a rare thing, indeed, for a person to have a career and personal life that so vastly blows away anything that mere imagination could concoct.

For example, this was how I spent last Friday morning, courtesy of Vashon’s iPhone at The Today Show in NYC as we prepared to soundcheck for Miley’s set.

nadia and me get ready to shake them asses.

In other news, my girlies from the late, lamented Shut Up Stella continue to kick ass and take names on their solo projects.  Jessie Malakouti just released this video for the song, Trash Me.  She wrote, produced and financed the video by herself which is a stunning accomplishment no matter what the final result.  The fact that it looks gorgeous is frosting, baby.  Check my little sis out:

Dinner at Hungry Cat tonight with USA, Ryan McMillan and his wife Alana.  So excited.

xok 

Last night we had a lovely party to celebrate the 9th anniversary of the birth of our best gal, Zoe Mabel. Her birthday isn’t actually until next week but this was the last chance to get all of her homies together before she leaves for Cape Cod for the summer. She is such a good kid, I have to *squink squink* my eyeballs in amazement sometimes.

 they all look like teenagers now.  go easy on me, please.

The night before, USA returned from 2 weeks on the road with Rob Dickinson.  For the first week that he was away I held down the fort like a champ but after several Celtics games and pool parties where everyone converged on the home of the rockers, my well oiled machine quickly began coming off the rails.  Here’s a roundup of the 2 weeks that USA was away and all the hooligans that forced me to rock out while the laundry and dishes piled up.

 bill likes to tickle. carol is supportive. stacy gets cozy in front of the tv.

jamie & joey seem nice enough but that kaylyn has always been a troublemaker.

  carol & courtney reprazent tha LMV

At one point during game 5 of the Celtics/Lakers series, my neighbor Ami (a lakers fan) snuck away from the game action in the living room briefly enough to a) not be missed and b) do this to my son.

 this is so wrong. put a yankees cap on him while you’re at it.

Not for nothing, but Carol took this picture and several others.  Thanks a lot, MILFA, I see how it is now.  When I found the pictures on my camera I jumped up and down, threw a fit and proclaimed righteous indignation to all those involved (including ami’s wife and kid) but between me and you, I thought it was pretty funny.  Look at poor Henry with his Rondo shirt underneath the Kobe one, knowing that he was doing something he shouldn’t.  Also, as a lifelong Boston sports fan, I had to respect the cojones.  Don’t tell Ami that though, because he and Jackie owe us dinner because the stupid LAKERS LOST.  HAHA!!!  The more guilt I pour on, the more impressive the dinner will be, is how I figure it.

Other things that have happened over the last few weeks:

The members of one of the bands I’m in went down to Nashville for a week to shoot scenes for a movie.  I think I signed some sort of confidentiality agreement, so I can’t reveal what the movie was or any details, but I think it’s fair to post some pix.  

 me standing in for the star

  stacy and schmidley with some girl.

 One of my closest girlfriends, Melissa Eltringham, moved to Nashville last year.  I cannot express how happy I was to see her and catch up.  When she showed up at my hotel to pick me up for dinner, Hillary Clinton was on CNN giving what we thought was going to be a concession speech (’twas not to be).  We spent the first 15 minutes of our long awaited reunion glued to the TV watching an historic moment in American politics.  How fitting.  It’s a gift to have women like her in my life.  

  love ya, melisse. whoreanous mani/pedi and all…

Henry graduated from pre-school so naturally he and his friends wanted to celebrate at McDonald’s.  He and the guys are all big kindergarteners now.  Gah!  How did that happen?

hank, ryan, aidan & caleb moving up in style.

 On deck:  a whole lot of nothing, I hope.  And then I have to learn the new Miley record for our dates this month.  More to come….

xok 

Is it possible for one to more absolutely prove their relentless self absorption than by having one of these??  I say this because I do have one and I feel very up my own ass as a result.

 

Twitter.  As a noun it seems cute as in “I just joined Twitter”.  But when you use it as a verb as in “I am twittering more often than Mike Schmid these days” it sounds kind of dirty.  Maybe that won’t be such a problem as I have just discovered that the correct usage of Twitter as a verb is “Tweeting”.   If you go back to your original Latin text of Virgil’s “Aeneid”, I believe you will find that tweeting is derived from the first person singular of the indicative active present.  Oh, first conjugation, of course - LOL!  But I didn’t need to tell YOU that… 

Want to see my Twitter?  Shit, I just disproved my initial point.  Oh, well.

- xok

Miley was the featured performer at the Houston Rodeo and Livestock show last night so the whole lot of us - band, dancers and crew- got together again to put on a show for 74,000 people. Billy Ray joined the band for 2 songs while Hannah changed into Miley and absolutely brought the house down. If you had told me 6 months ago (or ever, for that matter) that I would be two steppin’ and singing backup vocals on Achy Breaky Heart I would have, um… I have no idea what I would have done but it would have seemed unlikely. Now that the absurd scenario has become reality, I will state for the record that it was totally awesome.

Rodeos are kind of weird if you don’t mind my saying so. After our 3 hour sound check (grr…) I took care of what I needed to in a hurry so I could get back and watch the cowboys riding the bulls.We had plum position from our backstage area, which literally put us within spitting distance of the riders and animals. The cowboys were looking sharp with crisp shirts tucked perfectly into brand spankin’ new dungarees. Top that look with a sweet cowboy hat, some well-worn boots and a lasso and I turned into a drooling fan girl. Who knew? Needless to say, I was giddy to see the guys do their thing, which I was guessing would involve riding and then getting thrown off of a very strong and scary beast. Yum! The first guy came out of gate on a turbo charged horse. But hold on a second, he’s chasing a calf who is running for his life to get away. What the…?? Within 20 seconds, the cowboy had lassoed the calf by his neck, an action that jerked the calf’s body violently and slowed him down enough so that the cowboy was able to leap from the speeding horse and wrestle the calf to the ground where he tied the hind legs together and threw his arms into the air to stop the clock. The little calf just laid there helplessly until he was untied and led back to the cattle area. I started bawling. What a buzzkill. I watched this same scene unfold about a half dozen more times before I shuffled back to the dressing room all woebegone. I ended up missing the bucking broncos and stuff. Meh.

The good news? Anyone can be a sexy cowboy with the proper acoutrements! You can buy everything you need right there at a rodeo. One need not wrastle one single calf, either.

vashon, i do declare! 

Our stage was a huge disc that spun like a carousel. Not slow either. The stage would do 3 revolutions in one direction and then stop with a lurch to begin turning the other way. One of the stage hands told me that the clunkiness of the turning experience was due to the fact that the stage was built a long time ago and was operated by a guy using little more than bathtub knobs to control the thing.

Yee haw!  It was great seeing everyone. Can’t wait to do it again real soon.

margaritas are tastier in texas 

xok

This will be my last post from the tour bus. We played in Jacksonville tonight and now we’re rolling to Miami for our last show. So actually, let me rephrase. This will most likely be my last post from the tour. Umm… that feels like a very weird thing to say. I have to give my fellow tour bloggers, Mike Schmid, Gregg Garbo and Iggy Rosenberg my most heartfelt thanks for inspiring me to write Strange Life in the first place and to stick with it. Were it not for my enthusiastic drive to be smarter and funnier than you, upwards of 350 people might have been spared my ramblings. I love you guys.

Okay. 2 action packed days in Orlando. Let’s go through it, aiiight??? Creamer came through with some sweet courtside seats to the Celtic/Magic game so that was definitely an auspicious start to our stay. Stacy, Jamie, Vashon and I were super stoked.

see? super stoked.

That evening we went to Candice’s adorable parents’ house. They had decided that they should have a party for the entire tour and they did not disappoint. They set the tone by sending some humongous escaladehummerpickupstrechlaserlimo to pick everyone up at the hotels and then that um, vehicle made the pickup/drop off loop all night. The Accolas are impeccable hosts but boy, they also know how to throw down in true rock star fashion. Thanks for the bitchin’ hang, Dr. and Mrs. Accola!

myke, charlie & jason.

ashlee, candy-o and christina

these are some proud parents.

Candice’s friends Teri and Lindsey came down to the first show and hung out backstage while she and I did our Abbott & Costello hair and makeup bit, which we love to exaggerate for people whenever we get the chance. We don’t get out much. We barely speak to anyone in this world but each other at this point, so that statement is actually true. Anyhoo, they made very cute shirts for their homegirl.

why, oh, why did i not ask for one of the shirts?!

After the second show we got it together fast and vacated the Arena for another night out in Orlando. Johnny Damon’s wife, Michelle and her girlies brought all their daughters to the show and so we hopped in their escaladehummerpickupstretchlaserlime and blazed back to the Damon compound for pizza, beer and general revelry. When we got to the house, I was overjoyed to find that they had Dance Dance Revolution in their game room. I was somewhat less overjoyed when Johnny kicked my ass for 2 dance-offs in a row. Worse yet. I was trying my damndest to shoot without flash so my pix of Johnny and Jamie in DDR battle came out like crap.

trust me, this was a sight to behold.

michelle shows me how it’s done

Johnny’s game room contained more valuable baseball memorabilia than any of us will ever see in a lifetime. The fact that much of it was so intimate made it all the more thrilling to see. It was like workplace bric-a-brac bestowed upon Johnny by an employee pool of constantly shifting office mates. But not really, of course.

cal ripken’s shirt!!

Maybe I’ll find myself unwilling to go quietly into that goodnight in Miami tomorrow. I just read that Schmid is going to be “liveblogging” all day tomorrow. I can’t possibly allow him to have the last word. Damn you, Schmid!

xok

We are less than 2 weeks away from the end of the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best Of Both Worlds Tour. It seems unreal that just a few months ago I was wondering how on earth I would acclimate to such an unfamiliar working environment. I couldn’t imagine leaving my husband, my children, my friends, my work. At this point, the tour has become such a huge part of my life that I can’t imagine ever having done anything else. With that said, I can”t wait to go back to all the stuff I left in Los Angeles

Speaking of LA, I got to go back there for the 48 hours preceding our 3 night run in Vegas. Michael, Z and I went to the premier of the Hannah Montana 3D movie extravaganza, which I am in. Zoe likes to remind me that this was her second red carpet event* and only my first. I think that means we need to move back to Boston.

cute.

I got an awesome shot of Miley’s manager Jason. He seemed pretty happy about the way things were going.

well done, mate.

I ran into Miley’s big sis Brandi along with little sis Noah and Grammy, all of whom have been on the road with us at various times. Brandi performs with us whenever Billy Ray joins us onstage for “Ready, Set, Don’t Go”. That Cyrus family is quite lovely.

yay! we’re in a movie!

While I was home, I also got to hang out with my handsome boyfriend, Jackson Petty. His mother, Michelle, tried to distract me from the cuteness by talking about the music business, the future of our company, blah blah blah…. I’m sorry - I was NOT having it.

jack & dan

i am delicious

Actually, I WAS having it the day before when we took our new Art Is War artist, Countre Black, to meet and have lunch with David Gray from Island/Def Jam. Not for nothing, this occasion also marked my first decent meal in months. Thanks David!

so civilized

A few sidenotes:

My friend Jonny Mead & I scored our first #1 record (on the Latin Hot 100) with a song we wrote for a Latin group called RBD. The song is called Extrana Sensacion, although it wasn’t called that when we wrote it. Yay for us!

Mike Schmid posted a bit on his blog about my fainting spell in Vegas and it caused an uproar amongst my loved ones as well as complete strangers. I had no idea how many of my friends were reading his blog - way to go Schmid! On that subject, I can assure you that I am fine. I had not eaten dinner, my blood sugar dropped and I fainted. It will never happen again, promise. My only complaint is that nobody took any photos. Surely Candice and Mike knew how totally blogworthy those would have been. Meh.

Currently in Glendale, AZ. For the second time in both 3 months and my entire life.

xok

* scroll down to the picture of ed begley jr. with his daughter hayden and her friend zoemay (!)

Our supposed 10 hour drive from Albany to Rochester, MI. has also been extended thanks to a tanker truck falling off I75 and onto a house, causing a massive explosion/fire and closing the interstate. One of the other drivers tipped off Wildman moments after it happened and he was able to jump off just in time to avoid the chaos.

Last night was the Jonas Bros’ last night on the tour. It was a bummer to see them go. The guys, their band and crew were top notch and it was a pleasure to spend the last few months sharing the road with them. I wish them nothing but love and luck.

After the show in Albany we hunkered down for a long drive. The post show bus food sucked, but everyone was in excellent spirits nonetheless. Mike, Candice and Vashon jockeyed for position in the front seat.

everyone likes to sit next to wildman.

I can’t believe that with all of the music fans on our bus we’ve never had a DJ party before. Stacy decided to man the decks, I mean commandeer my laptop, and entertain us for a few hours.

dj jazzy stace

I realize that I have gotten lazy about my once vigorous blog habit so once again, let’s run through the hightlights of the past week!

The Obama speech was thrilling, yes, but I would be remiss if I did not mention the lovely new friends that I made in Cleveland. Stacy and Jamie invited me to crash dinner plans with their friends Norman and Aaron from Alternative Press, both of whom turned out to be the funnest, smartest guys (even though AP totally dissed Letters To Cleo any chance it got, it was not their fault, I’m sure…) and took us to the best meals I’ve had so far on the tour. Bar Cento was an Italian place where I had quite literally the best salad of my life which was composed simply of butter lettuce, mint, shaved Parmigiano Reggiano and cider vinaigrette. Momocho was a Mexican fusion-y place in their neighborhood. Ohio city, I think?

guacamole is yummy and green.

choosy hipsters choose momocho

Before I left Cleve-town, I was able to have coffee with my dear friend Ed Zeitz. Why didn’t I get a picture??! Meh.

Some other stuff, perhaps a show or 2 took place and then it was off to the exquisite Ritz Carlton in Georgetown for a day off before our DC concert. Oh wait, I didn’t get a day off in Georgetown. I slept in my magnificent bed for a grand total of 3 hours and then I had to get on a plane to Boston to perform at Hot Stove Cool Music, a Red Sox-ish related charity event that I perform at every year. For those of you who only know me as Miley’s backup singer or a person who has touched Nick Jonas, it may help now if I explain that I am also a not very well known indie rock musician!

On Sunday morning, my manager Michael Creamer picked me up at Logan airport, I did my laundry at his house, went to soundcheck at the Paradise which was really a 90 minute rehearsal because I had a brand new guy on guitar (nice job craig!), checked into my boston hotel, scarfed down some food, took a shower, got dressed, went back to the Paradise and played the show, slept for 3.5 hours and got on a plane back to DC. I was pretty much a nervous, exhausted wreck the whole time, but that fact was offset by my happiness that I got to hang out with all of my Boston friends.

o’malley, dicky and gammons do the not so silent auction

One of my sweetest conversations of the evening was with Theo Epstein, who with his wife recently had a baby. I can talk breastfeeding and sleep training until the cows come home. Or the sun comes up. Or until the fat lady sings. Or the shit hits the fan. Whatever. Theo had a baby and he is STOKED, as am I for him.

why is this lady so happy??

I also had the pleasure of meeting my new favorite person, Lori McKenna. She, too is a mom/musician whose husband is a sexy saint. We have a lot in common and I look forward to writing with her and Michelle when she comes to LA.

work that camera, girl.

Musical revelation of the night? Eli “Paperboy” Reed. Oh my god, this kid blew my mind. He seemed like a regular guy with an off kilter sense of style when I spoke to him backstage, so I couldn’t imagine why people were going bananas over him until he took the stage and turned into a demon possessed preacher man. My pictures stink (what else is new?) but trust me, Eli is off the chain.

testify, young eli.

I sat in with The Peter Gammons All-Stars for a rendition of J. Geils’ “House Party” and who should I see on stage but Seth Justman, the guy responsible for some of J. Geils’ greatest songs. Centerfold? Freezeframe? Must Of Got Lost??? Hello?! I was a little google-y eyed while talking to him, to be honest.

seth is wicked cool

Rookie Of The Year goes to Corin Ashley, for sure. I called Corin a few hours before the show to ask if he’d care to join me onstage to swing a tambourine and sing a little. Not only did he say yes but then when he was asked to jump in as a last minute replacement for Aaron Perrino on “House Party” he gamely agreed and proceeded to steal the show. Corin rules, he really does. Here’s a pic that Stacy Lynes took of us:

awww.. pals.

When the evening was over, Hot Stove raised $200,000 for Theo Epstein’s Foundation To Be Named Later. What an amazing accomplishment. See you all at Fenway this summer!

xok

I have no idea why I love truck stops, but ever since I started touring as a wee lass, I have not been able to resist the late night lure of beef jerky, bad coffee, crappy videos and creepy lurkers. Last night we had an 800 mile drive from Kansas City to Detroit, necessitating a fuel stop and of course, the opportunity to scavenge the aisles of a Flying J. I’m not sure if Mike is humoring me or what, but I’ve managed to convince him to accompany me into the last 2 truck stops.

mikey likes it!

Nobody is immune from the special feeling that comes over you when you see that cartons of cigarettes are $25 and that towels are now included with your $8 truck stop shower. I think this picture of Wildman and Larry (our irrepressible drivers) really nails the sentiment.

nothing but love, baby

We arrived in Rochester, Michigan to find that winter has arrived in certain places. It was not a happy discovery. I am woefully unprepared for snow and freezing temperatures. Miley and some of the dancers invited me to go shopping but then I would have to actually put on every layer of clothing in my posession just to walk back outside. Also, there is something about shopping at a suburban mall with a police escort and 2 bodyguards that seems a bit off-putting, y’know? I think I will spend my day off in my beautiful room and order obscene amounts of room service.

ahhh..pretty and warm.

xok

Today is our day off and what better way to spend that precious time than by driving to Little Rock? Oh, I know! Spending the entire rest of the day in Little Rock. Actually, I should not cast aspersions on the capital city of Arkansas because I have never been there, I don’t think. I am always open to being pleasantly surprised and I am told that there is a Benihana right in the hotel. I feel that this may be a positive.

The real purpose of today’s post is to officially introduce you to my fellow bloggers, I mean e-diarists, from the Jonas Brothers/Hannah Montana tour. I realize that it seems redundant to have 3 people who see each other every day and are doing basically the same exact thing writing about their experiences, but I am endlessly entertained by these guys. Moreover, I am always surprised by how different our perspectives are. Excuse the horrible picture - I will replace it after I can corner the guys again for another impromptu photo shoot.

mike schmid and gregg garbo

Gregg is the bass player in the Jonas Bros’ band and he is wicked smaaht and funny. While I love reading his e-diary, he has recently sent Mike and I into a tailspin of self loathing by adding a beautiful header to the front page of his blog. He thinks he’s soooo great now.

Mike lives in the bunk just below me on the tour bus. Sometimes when I am climbing up to my bunk, I wil stomp my Uggs all over his sheets in some uncontrollable passive aggressive fury. Don’t tell him though because he would be P-I-S-S-E-D. I digress. Mike is the keyboard player in Miley’s band and one of my favoritest new friends. He is also the main inspiration for me writing Strange Life in the first place so I think we can ALL thank him for that. Or not.

Check them out if you haven’t already.

xok