October 20th, 2008
The Red Sox lost last night. The Earth’s financial schemes are collapsing. My favorite morning radio show with Adam Corolla is being overrun with ads calling for people to vote yes on a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage as well as a weird dating website for people who want to cheat on their spouses. Our nation is squandering blood and treasure in 2 wars, one of which is (or was) completely unnecessary and the other a victim of neglect. There is the possibility, however remote, that John McCain and his foxy coadjutor, Sarah Pailin, may ascend to the highest office in modern civilization. It’s Monday morning and I have a teenager style breakout and to add insult to injury I totally chose the wrong frames at Lenscrafters and now I look like this:
Where is the fairness in the world? There is none, I tell you.
SIGH….. Whatever. Here is some stuff that happened over the past few weeks, months, years. I don’t even know anymore.
we backed up billy ray at miley’s sweet 16
the amazing gary & justine got married in dc
met up with jessie in london
kelly ozbourne interviews miley backstage in london
schmidley, me and nadia pub crawling in the ldn
I’m off to sing some Care Bears songs and then at the insistence of a horrified USA Mike, go exchange my ill chosen glasses at the mall. I hate the mall. But he hates my new glasses more than I hate the mall. Done and done.
xok
Posted in 2008 presidential election, jessie malakouti, kelly ozbourne, mike schmid, miley cyrus, nadia duggin, politics | 5 Comments »
September 6th, 2008
|
Here we have an exchange on my message board between me and USMCLobo, my resident conservative muckraker. Things have gotten testy now that the conventions have played out and the Presidential election is in full throttle. Fun!!!
| USMCLobo wrote: |
| LaLa wrote: |
| At least I can rest assured knowing that my dream of bringing blow jobs back to the White House will become a reality. |
LaLa, what a rude and crass statement. You should learn to be more demure and lady like. Perhaps an elegant woman like Sarah Palin could teach you some class? |
Thank you for setting me straight, Lobo. I think I’ll skip the etiquette lessons but I very much look forward to improving my “abstinence only” dialogue skills under Ms. Palin’s very capable tutelage. My children and I have so much to learn from her example.
Does anyone else find it ironic that the Republican ticket is responsible for bringing all the sexy talk into the 2008 election? I kind of resent it to be honest, because that’s supposed to be the Democrats’ purview, but that’s okay. Granted, the right has managed to pervert this previously off-limits (unless they are trying to scare, legislate or condemn) biological imperative into a weird “sexy librarian and her house full of sexually promiscuous teens” vibe but still, it feels like the right wing has gone and lost their damn minds over Ms. Palin and I like it! The collective conservative (and beyond) lust for Sarah Palin is so brazen and undisguised that it muddies the waters for any real analysis of her candidacy for the time being. Hey, that’s what sex does to people: it makes them crazy.
Trust me, most of the response to her has nothing to do with “experience” because if she were Sam Palin, the guy, with the same resume, there is no way she’d be in this position. But I am genuinely fascinated by the fact that she’s unleashing all this pent up missionary position fatigue and making conservative men attribute powers to her that do not exist.
Let me amend that, her powers do exist but they are almost purely about fantasy. I’m a woman, so I happen to know about the sway we have over men even when it is unintended. I liken it to that fortune cookie trick where you read your fortune and add the words “in bed”. It succeeds in changing the meaning of the words, and therefore the reality, on that tiny slip of paper in front of you every single time. Let’s extrapolate. The fortune cookie is now one of the more nonsensical assertions about Ms. Palin; that she has credible foreign policy experience because of her state’s geographical proximity to Russia. Here goes:
- “Sarah Palin is in charge of the Alaskan National Guard so she is the one person in America who truly knows what it would mean to stare down Vladimir Putin and is ready to do so.”
OR
- ”Sarah Palin…..blah, blah, blah… stare down Vladimir Putin and is ready to do so. In bed.”
The second one makes much more sense to me. I suspect that this is what is on the minds of all the drooling conservative pundits who tout her respectable yet meager accomplishments as if she were Margaret Thatcher.
Sorry, Karl Rove, John McCain, William Kristol, USMCLobo, Sean Hannity (Tsk, tsk. I’m disappointed in you Sean. We’ll talk later), and yes, even you Brit Hume, you fancy robot. We can see your hard-ons and they do not lie. Hell, I practically have a chubby for Sarah Palin and I am against everything she stands for politically. So let’s all take a cold shower, shall we? Because you cannot have a serious discussion about a person’s qualifications for a job when you are clearly thinking about a whole other set of “qualifications” when assessing that person.
Be all of that as it may, you are one smart cookie, Sarah Palin. Work that magic pussy all the way to the White House, Guv’ner, and speak the real truth to power.
_________________
I’m just a happy kid
Stuck with the heart of a sad punk |
|
 |
Posted in 2008 presidential election, john mccain, karl rove, politics, sarah palin, sean hannity | 6 Comments »
August 28th, 2008
It appears that many of us find Barack Obama just delightful! In fact, earlier this evening Conroy & I poured ourselves the finest California Chard that Long’s Drug had to offer, gathered around the old teedle vee and just enjoyed the heck out of everything Presid..oops! Senator Obama had to say as he gave his parting oration at the Democratic National Convention. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that I was watching God himself, but we liberal elitists know that such occult beliefs are absurd distractions, meant to soothe and sedate a lesser form of humanity than ours. But just for fun, let’s characterize his appearance as God-esque! He was simply marvelous. That is all I am trying to express.
That Mr. Obama really knows how to get the audience going and gosh darn it, we would really like to see a man of such bold charisma and clear intellectual superiority be the President. He reminds me of the commanding Chalupa Gordito, conductor of the Machu Picchu Philharmonic (where we had the most amusing holiday a few years back on the advice of our dear friends, Howard Zinn and Al Franken) or some rockstar - like The Bono!
Our only hope is that those inconsiderate Republicans don’t come after Mr. Obama and besmirch his upstanding character, because that would be terribly disappointing to us and could also ruin his chances to do something really terrific with our fine country, The United States Of America!
pass the fucking grey poupon, mr. cheney. now.
* photo credit: zoe mabel
xok
Posted in barack obama, john conroy, politics | 3 Comments »