Kay Hanley

When I was a kid, Easter Sunday meant 3 things:

1) Very rare Hanley family clothes shopping trip for new patent leather shoes and frilly dress combo

2) 2 hour Mass

3) Spring had sprung

Nowadays, Easter is a harbinger of Summer in Los Angeles because Spring is pretty much a thing of the past by late March. I don’t go to Mass anymore because nobody makes me. But come to think of it, I did wear patent leather shoes today. I didn’t even do that on purpose!!! Most of my friends are Jewish or Protestants of some kind, so at this time of year we all do a mishmash of holiday celebrations that are meant to acknowledge our cultural backgrounds. We eat a ton of food, drink a ton of wine and the kids and dogs are stoked. Yay.

I have no idea where I was going with all that. Let’s get to the fun of my non-denominational Easter weekend!

On Friday I had a sort-of-but-not-really business lunch at Alcove in Los Feliz with my dear friend Chad. I wish I could have lunch with him every day because he is just the bee’s knees. If I wasn’t a married woman and Chad didn’t think girls were yucky, we would be like totally whatever, y’know?

sigh…

Friday night was a typical StuCid yuppie fest with the Soccers, a few other neighbors, all the kiddos and many, many bottles of wine. Do people still say yuppie, btw? Now that I kind of am one I would like to be able to finally claim this pejorative as my own. Girl cannot live on liberal elitist alone, y’know.

My friend Mario runs this website that he’s been trying to get off the ground the entire time I’ve known him. I don’t get all show-offy with him about my blog getting upwards of several hundred hits a week because I don’t want to shit on his happiness or diminish his accomplishments. Or maybe that’s hits per month. Whatever. The point is, he’s got his little “thing” and I support him entirely because that’s the kind of person I am. Last night was Mario’s 30th birthday so Fan, Kristen, Kaylyn and I slapped on some lip gloss and went to his birthday party. For some reason, The Pussycat Dolls got lost on their way to the street walking whore convention and ended up shaking it for us at le petite soirée. They were so nice to humor him by being good sports and not acknowledging their blunder. Klassy.

{vidavee id=”6534″ w=”320″ }

fan & mario

marc, you know i adore you but the summer ‘08
collection is not that fierce. it’s just alright for me, dawg.
your new bf is super cute though.

ted and k-squeeze

hooligans

hey z, look at me!!!

If you know me, you know that I am a big fan of the gay people. But for some reason I cannot get with the tranny lip synchers. Why do the gay boys like that crap so much? And here’s an even better question: Why is Andy Milonakis still showing up at stuff and acting like a moron? I remember cracking a smile once when I thought he was 12 and he was singing “the superbowl is gay” but a lot of time has passed since that smile crossed my lips lo those many years ago. That passing time has not been filled with laughter. Here’s Andy wacky-ing it up in front of Kiki & Herb who were performing Total Eclipse Of The Heart. Of course they were.

oh andy, will the fun never start?

We had a really fun night. And then I went home and slept like a rock. A somewhat inebriated, gussied up rock. Thanks for the always excellent party, M. Yer the best.

I’ll try and post my pix from Gil & Nina Junger’s Easter egg hunt tomorrow. Sleepy.

xok

This will be my last post from the tour bus. We played in Jacksonville tonight and now we’re rolling to Miami for our last show. So actually, let me rephrase. This will most likely be my last post from the tour. Umm… that feels like a very weird thing to say. I have to give my fellow tour bloggers, Mike Schmid, Gregg Garbo and Iggy Rosenberg my most heartfelt thanks for inspiring me to write Strange Life in the first place and to stick with it. Were it not for my enthusiastic drive to be smarter and funnier than you, upwards of 350 people might have been spared my ramblings. I love you guys.

Okay. 2 action packed days in Orlando. Let’s go through it, aiiight??? Creamer came through with some sweet courtside seats to the Celtic/Magic game so that was definitely an auspicious start to our stay. Stacy, Jamie, Vashon and I were super stoked.

see? super stoked.

That evening we went to Candice’s adorable parents’ house. They had decided that they should have a party for the entire tour and they did not disappoint. They set the tone by sending some humongous escaladehummerpickupstrechlaserlimo to pick everyone up at the hotels and then that um, vehicle made the pickup/drop off loop all night. The Accolas are impeccable hosts but boy, they also know how to throw down in true rock star fashion. Thanks for the bitchin’ hang, Dr. and Mrs. Accola!

myke, charlie & jason.

ashlee, candy-o and christina

these are some proud parents.

Candice’s friends Teri and Lindsey came down to the first show and hung out backstage while she and I did our Abbott & Costello hair and makeup bit, which we love to exaggerate for people whenever we get the chance. We don’t get out much. We barely speak to anyone in this world but each other at this point, so that statement is actually true. Anyhoo, they made very cute shirts for their homegirl.

why, oh, why did i not ask for one of the shirts?!

After the second show we got it together fast and vacated the Arena for another night out in Orlando. Johnny Damon’s wife, Michelle and her girlies brought all their daughters to the show and so we hopped in their escaladehummerpickupstretchlaserlime and blazed back to the Damon compound for pizza, beer and general revelry. When we got to the house, I was overjoyed to find that they had Dance Dance Revolution in their game room. I was somewhat less overjoyed when Johnny kicked my ass for 2 dance-offs in a row. Worse yet. I was trying my damndest to shoot without flash so my pix of Johnny and Jamie in DDR battle came out like crap.

trust me, this was a sight to behold.

michelle shows me how it’s done

Johnny’s game room contained more valuable baseball memorabilia than any of us will ever see in a lifetime. The fact that much of it was so intimate made it all the more thrilling to see. It was like workplace bric-a-brac bestowed upon Johnny by an employee pool of constantly shifting office mates. But not really, of course.

cal ripken’s shirt!!

Maybe I’ll find myself unwilling to go quietly into that goodnight in Miami tomorrow. I just read that Schmid is going to be “liveblogging” all day tomorrow. I can’t possibly allow him to have the last word. Damn you, Schmid!

xok

I don’t know about you, but for me, Youtube is purely a tool for finding videos of the songs that I loved as a wee one, back when my cruel parents wouldn’t let us watch TV. I usually hear the song in Target or something and then make a mental note to find it later which of course, I remember to do a month later. This was one of my all time favs, but I had never seen the vid until today. Probably a good thing because the sight of the singer thumping away on that EVIL bass made my eyes bleed. Only time will tell whether my ears will forget what I have seen.

Wow. Only 4 days left on the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best Of Both Worlds tour. Has it really been 4 months? 15 tour buses, 16 semis, 121 band, dancers and crew, most of which I now know by name. I feel so lucky to have been a part of it and to have made so many excellent new friends.

anywhere, usa

chicago

corey & ashlee

the ladies love jack

the zoemabel dream teaparty

my dream teaparty

me, elizabeth & mike on long island

the newest dire warning from pyro.

a very cyrus soundcheck

vashon is always pro

red sox fans are dedicated

We are having our tour wrap party tonight after the show here in Orlando so I suppose I should motivate and get to the mall. I have no clean clothes left. How appropriate. To be continued….

xok

After the Newark show on Saturday night, the band hopped on the bus and headed to NY to check into the Mansfield. We were hoping to get there fast because it was Michael’s 40th birthday and I booked a 9:30 table at Tailor in SoHo for the occasion. As it turned out, we had exactly 15 minutes to check in to the hotel and get dressed for dinner. Gaahhhh!!!!! Stacy, his wife Jade, Jamie, Candice and I managed to pull it together and arrive pretty much on time. The restaurant was incredible and all 15 of us had a blast toasting to the anniversary of the birth of my favorite guy.

jade, candice, justine, jamie and me.

Our friend Mark Quigley took some shots:

the birthday boy gets his wish

jamie, me and candice

casey and quigley courtesy of the fung wah

Here’s a question: Why are Quigs’ pictures so much better than mine? Is it because he uses Flickr and I export directly from my iPhoto? I suck. Grrr…

the gang

yum!

Food was great, the company was even better. Now USA Mike gets to go back to LA for the west coast leg of his birthday party tour at Hungry Cat. I’m jealous, but still so grateful that we were able to assemble such a fantastic crew in NY. Make sure you take loads of pix next weekend, LA people!

The next day, Michael went back to Nana’s in Jersey to pack up the kids and head back to LA. My bandmates and I had to go play another show in Newark. The highlight was our trip back from the show because a) we got to leave Newark forever and b) we had a high speed police escort, complete with 3 squad cars and flashing sirens, that blasted our 2 Miley vans back to the Lincoln tunnel. Sweet!

Candice and I made a deal with our new favorite hair guy, Scott Dowers and his lovely wife Angel. We gave him one of our rooms for 2 nights over New Years while he & Angel cut, colored, curled and made us up for our various festivities. I don’t know what I’ll do when I have to go back home and use normal people for these kinds of things. I love them.

They had done our hair and makeup for the show, so when we got back to Mid-town, we were pretty much ready to go. I had plans with my friend Mario to meet up that night so Candice, Jason and I grabbed some dinner and headed to Mario’s hotel room. It was just supposed to be a chill night with a few cocktails and laughs but as soon as we got to his room he had a change of heart. Okay! Let’s go watch the trangendered entertainer Candace Kayne at a packed and insanely loud gay bar! Truth be told, Candace is as fabulous as they come so it was a good time.

mario & candace sittin’ in a tree…

Mario had to be up early the next morning so we highjacked his friend Mike to see if we could find some fun stuff to do in NY. We succeeded, of course. One of the strangest things I encountered was this bizzare painting at an Irish pub, which would not have required more than a glance before the Miley tour. Billy Ray Cyrus is prominently featured.

why??

I woke up on New Year’s Eve morning not feeling so hot, but after a massive infusion of coffee, advil and a gallon of water I was on the comeback trail. Angel and Scott came to my and Candice’s cozy room for glam squad duty.

scott does his thing

angel does hers…

Miley and the band went and performed on Dick Clark’s NYE thing in Times Square so the rest of us took advantage of the night off. I don’t understand how I ended up with practically no pictures from our crazy evening but sadly, it’s true. We had a great time ringing in the New Year and I hope you did too. Here’s to 2008..

xok

I had no idea that the Bluejackets were even a team, but apparently during the last NHL expansion they became one. Oy. The good news is that they invited the entire tour to come down to the party box to see a game against who else? The Anaheim Ducks. Where have you gone, Mr. Bobby Orr? A nation turns its lonely Zambonis to you….

We had lots of fun, though. The tone was set for me, personally when Benoit (greatest drum tech of all time) showed up wearing the most bitching coat EVER.

be careful with those leather strips, b!

Anytime I get to squeeze in between Simon (front of house engineer) and Pyro (pyro) and all of their lustrous day-off hair, ’tis a good day indeed.

pyro, me and the bloke.

We finished up the evening at O’Shaunessey’s Pub with the requisite rounds of Irish Car Bombs. They are like yummy Guinness mochas that you have to drink really fast and oh, how I love them. Wait, is that good or bad?

the official drink of days off

There was a ton of drama that took place that night, involving Candice being a klepto and throwing me under the blame bus, but all was forgiven because she and I had a killer night of karaoke. I am sure she will recount the tale on her new BLOG!!!!!

xok

Yesterday was our day off in The Windy City and what a day it was. It is always a happy treat when we check into a hotel and I find awesome products in the bathroom. In the case of the lovely James Hotel, it was the best of the best:

keihl’s in all my favorite flavors.

I dragged all of my luggage up to my room and immediately threw clothes and shoes all over the place and made #604 my own for the next 36 hours. Candice and I made plans to go shopping so the first order of business for me was winter clothes. The first order of business for Candice was to convince me to buy some clothes that don’t make me look like a 23 year old indie-rock boy. I ended up in the dressing room at Nordstrom’s for literally 90 minutes. I hate shopping. I did get some cute stuff though, including a long sleeve black satin mini-dress which couldn’t have come into my life at a better time seeing as we were going to a hockey game.

The Chicago Blackhawks invited Miley to sit in their luxury box for their game against the Anaheim Ducks (is there a more execrable moniker in all professional sports? i think not.) so she invited the band to join her. It was pretty awesome, I gotta say. Candice got me all tarted up in my dress and red lipstick and we all cheered like hell for Chicago.

this is not the boston garden

wicked sensitive crew.

candice, brian, stacy and jaco

how thoughtful of the blackhawks!

We had to get out of Dodge in an unexpectedly brisk fashion because people figured out that Miley was in the box and started closing in. I’m not sure if I was fully aware of just how kooky things have gotten in terms of Miley’s fame, but I think I got it last night. Whoa.

The band got dropped off back at the James and we decided to meet the dancers at the club next door for some cocktails & booty shaking. Stacy, Jamie and Jaco stuck with the former but Candice and I did some damage in both departments. Really fun night.

me and the girlies! holla, holla, holla!

On the bus, rolling to Indianapolis, watching a Dexter marathon. Nice.

xok

Gabi and I met in the hotel bar for a little business tête - à - tête and dinner last night. We were sharing a salad and decided that it could use a bit of seasoning. A waiter was summoned and cracked pepper was requested. The whole exchange was so mundane until….

is that your pepper mill or….?

Oh, boy. We got a lot of mileage out of that one.

Tonight’s show in Detroit was fab and the Rock City crowd lived up to all expectation by being super loud and appreciative. Randy (cleokid for those of you in the know) came to the show with his wife and 2 daughters and it was great to see them all rocking in the 5th row (thanks gabi!).

me & the cleokiddies, kelsie and karlie.

We had the longest soundcheck of all time because of a monitor glitch so I entertained myself by pouting and taking pictures. Miley got a new coat at yesterday’s trip to the mall:

i. am. so. jealous.

At the beginning of the tour I almost got my head taken off several times by the pyrotechnics during the song “Start All Over” by being a space cadet and walking right into the explosions. Quick thinking and logical Pyro (real name Steve - he runs the pyro coincidentally enough!) decided to avert an inevitable catastrophe by taping this helpful message on my riser:

thanks pyro!

Time for sleepy.

xok

I have no idea why I love truck stops, but ever since I started touring as a wee lass, I have not been able to resist the late night lure of beef jerky, bad coffee, crappy videos and creepy lurkers. Last night we had an 800 mile drive from Kansas City to Detroit, necessitating a fuel stop and of course, the opportunity to scavenge the aisles of a Flying J. I’m not sure if Mike is humoring me or what, but I’ve managed to convince him to accompany me into the last 2 truck stops.

mikey likes it!

Nobody is immune from the special feeling that comes over you when you see that cartons of cigarettes are $25 and that towels are now included with your $8 truck stop shower. I think this picture of Wildman and Larry (our irrepressible drivers) really nails the sentiment.

nothing but love, baby

We arrived in Rochester, Michigan to find that winter has arrived in certain places. It was not a happy discovery. I am woefully unprepared for snow and freezing temperatures. Miley and some of the dancers invited me to go shopping but then I would have to actually put on every layer of clothing in my posession just to walk back outside. Also, there is something about shopping at a suburban mall with a police escort and 2 bodyguards that seems a bit off-putting, y’know? I think I will spend my day off in my beautiful room and order obscene amounts of room service.

ahhh..pretty and warm.

xok

The show in Little Rock was marred by illness (more on that in a moment) but Candice and I got permission to do our hair differently so as far as I’m concerned it was the best show of the tour so far. Ask anyone who was there and they will tell you that my and Candice’s hair-dos and resulting performances were off the chain.

The other highlight for me was at the previously hyped Benihana (before they tried to poison everyone) when I ran across this interesting crew:

ladies..

….and gentlemen

They were all coming from a cotillion! I’m still not exactly sure what that is but I know that the tradition has strong roots in southern culture and is meant to promote manners and respect between the sexes. I thought it was so cute that the kids (all 6th graders) had spent the afternoon mingling as little adults and then the second they got to Benihana they split ranks entirely. Ah…those were heady days if I remember correctly.

But all was not bliss at Benihana on that night. The food was fairly gross to begin with but poor Stacy and Charlie spent the next 24 hours vomiting. That left the rest of us wondering if we were next. I couldn’t tell if my tummyache was a sympathy one or if all hell was about to break loose but I am happy to report that nothing major came of it.

we should have seen it coming