Lies + Damned Lies
Just because you yell really loud at your opponent, it doesn’t necessarily follow that you are in possession of “truth” or “superior reasoning.” In fact, typically it’s just the opposite. In my experience, yelling is for people who have lost control of their emotions, usually in anger and/or frustration. The thing about yelling, is that the yeller pretty much loses all credibility the minute they start yelling when the situation doesn’t seem to warrant it. I know this because I’m a) a lead singer and, b) a mother.
As a grown up, it is always best to err on the side of caution when it comes to acting out on impulsive feelings of rage when you don’t have both sides of the story and thus, don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Just ask my manager, Creamer. He could write a book on the subject, having had to deal with me for the last 20 years. (That would be quite entertaining, come to think of it. He should do that!). But he’s my manager. I’m supposed to treat him like a lesser form of humanity or a lightening rod for everything bad that’s ever happened to me and deserves my wrath when my hotel room is on the 7th floor when I SPECIFICALLY said I wanted the 9th and he needs to know how bad he fucked up RIGHT NOW at 3am via this phone call and by the way who’s the jerk who scheduled the in-store at 11 in the fucking morning??!! a rental car.
There are different rules for these sorts of things. Anyhoodles……
Look, there are perfectly legitimate reasons to yell at other people, even in public. If some Porsche Cayenne driving bitch is texting and applying lipstick in the rearview mirror while simultaneously tailgating you on Ventura right before she rear ends you when you stop at a red light, I think yelling might be a fair reaction. Or if someone threatens to kill your sweet old Grandma, yell away! Do some shoving, even. I won’t judge you.
BTW, in order for that last scenario to be relevant, one would have to be entirely certain that Grandma was being threatened. You would have had to witness the threat as opposed to jumping to conclusions based on second hand information. For example, if a neighborhood troublemaker with a flair for hyperbolic drama has a well known grudge against the supposed “Granny Killer” for beating them in “The Best Person Ever” competition last year, and they tell a highly unlikely story about this otherwise reasonable person meaning to do harm to Grandma, one may want to get a bit of clarification before unleashing the crazy.
The key to my point here is assessing a normal emotional response to any given situation, including perceived threats and injustices in order to figure out whether someone is full of shit or not. In the last 2 weeks, I have been seriously puzzled by the behavior of a small but very loud group of Americans who have been called to action by another small but very loud group of right-wing entertainers and agitators (notice I do not say Republicans) to angrily and loudly stamp out any public community discussion of health care reform.
Are there really Americans out there that have been so untouched by the unfairness and sometimes cruelty of for-profit health insurance in our country that they would honestly resort to words like “fascist” and “euthanasia” and even the (unfortunately) de-fanged “HITLER!” at the mere suggestion that we go back to the drawing board for a second? Is this conversation so wrought with peril that some are driven to screaming diatribes and violence against their elected officials and fellow citizens?
Personally, I don’t know anyone, nor have I heard of anyone who would say “My health insurance kicks ASS. If I had to change it, I’d be super pissed.” The reason for this is that a statement like that would not come out of anyone’s mouth. If they were being honest. Here’s the thing: Nobody is suggesting that anybody change anything so if you’re stoked about your amazing health insurance company then continue to enjoy the hell out that relationship. But unless your health insurance provider is personally administering the happy ending after that therapeutic “massage” or even just paying the bill for the colonoscopy without making you and your doctor fill out forms for 6 months, I think we could all do a little better.
It is worth noting that health care reform is actually a misnomer. Health care in America is provided by the best doctors, nurses and hospitals in the world. What we are actually trying to address is “health insurance reform.” For profit health insurance companies are what stand in between millions of Americans and easy, cheap health care. If you have good insurance now, lucky you. Just make sure you don’t lose your job, especially if you have epilepsy, had a mole removed a few years ago or heartburn. Because if that’s the case you can go fuck yourself if you try and get private, non-employer based insurance coverage.
Back to the pissed-off people at the town hall meetings. If there was a town hall meeting in my district I would want to attend so that I could argue in favor of health insurance reform. Not to go and make a political point, but to talk about how the relentless drive to increase profits to satisfy shareholders has fundamentally changed how people are able to take care of their health needs. The privatizing of the industry has benefitted few but those who stand to profit by unconscionable denials of coverage and refusal to pay legitimate claims. This has affected my family and our financial well being on several occasions. I would want to make an impassioned plea to my elected officials for not only a public option but a single payer system that would be run by the government. Yes, I would want to argue the merits of the dreaded socialized medicine.
I care about this issue a lot and if my one chance to speak to my representatives face to face was shot down by a bunch of screaming people that were bussed in from Rancho Cucamonga, I’d be pretty unhappy. To put it mildly.
I wrote about my own shitty health insurance experience here, but since writing that essay, my daughter was diagnosed with petit mal seizures, a condition which is not dangerous but one for which she will take medication for a few years. Under our current for-profit health insurance system she will not be able to obtain private insurance because of this pre-existing condition. My son, who nearly died in infancy of a respiratory virus, is in the same boat. Sorry, Mr. Hannity, Mr. Levin and that other guy with the doughy face who’s always hysterical + weeping, personal responsibility does not apply here.
But even if it did, so what? When was the last time Dick Cheney or Rush Limbaugh quit smoking cigars, ran a fucking marathon and ate nothing but fish and vegetables? Oh, wait. They don’t need to. They are both rich and have health insurance that neither is in danger of losing. So if you smoke, eat McDonald’s, don’t go to the gym and lose your job, that’s your problem, fatass. You should’ve thought of your personal responsibility to live up to a different standard than the rich blowhards convincing/scaring you to work against your own self interests before your fat middle class ass became uninsurable, loser.
xok
August 13th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Amen sista! As you know I have a chornic disease that requires a daily injection for the rest of my life. If I loose my “kick ass” insurance then I would get nada, no private insurance due to my pre-existing condition.
That’s cool because without insurance I can pay $3000 a month for a med that may or may not keep me out of a wheelchair…what a crock!!!
August 13th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Kay…you’ll like this:
August 13th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl91YF1d3Kg
August 13th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
How’s this for messed up.. I was born double-jointed, and female. No big deal, right? Well, the double-jointed-ness lead to a disorder called temporomandibular joint dysfunction. In short, the disc that lubricates my jaw joint dislocated itself on one side, and whenever I had to open my mouth, the bone had to “pop” over the disc and would grind against more bone in the process. My jaw joint on the right side is now an oval, when it was originally circular, because it was grinding against bone.
I went to see a specialist, and went through a treatment to fix this as there’s a substantial portion of TMJD patients who require severe psychiatric assistance due to the constant pain *in their head.* This treatment cost around three grand, which fell to my parents because I was about 13 at the time.
Dental insurance said it was medical. Medical said it was dental. When they were each confronted with what the other said, they both “mutually agreed” that it was *a cosmetic procedure.* Because, you know, I look so much younger, thinner and more beautiful by having a jaw joint that’s worn down to half it’s original size.
How was *I* personally responsible for that? Should I have predicted this as a fetus and miscarried myself? Speak to Skynet about sending me back in time to prevent my mother from getting knocked up? I’m at a loss, really.
Yet, even after this, my mother insists that “socialized medicine” is the most evil thing in the history of American politics. Interesting.
August 14th, 2009 at 6:33 am
The problems you reference are real — and we all have personal situations like that, often involving our children and cancer-stricken parents. I know I do. The key, though, is allowing individuals to have access to the risk pools afforded by employer-sponsored plans. Changing the IRS code to treat associations and other membership groups with the same group insurance rights and governance as employers would go a very, very long way toward covering individuals and transients. This would make the necessary safety net coverage much smaller and manageable. You reference a bunch of lightning rod right wingers preaching fear and using pretty unsavory tactics (something they haven’t exactly cornered the market on, by the way), and I’m not one of them. Those people need ratings and you willingly assist them by screaming their names, which is something a rant-blog is obviously entitled to do. The dopey media keeps people like Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan out of the debate and do a disservice by not showing his ideas the light of day. A lot of us care about reform and welcome meaningful changes to address the problems with our system. But this 1000 page bill being fire-rushed through Washington is intellectually void and, yes, creepy when applied to a free market society that’s produced the most leading edge health care in the world.
August 14th, 2009 at 10:21 am
PREACH!
August 14th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
You are my hero.
Why would ANYONE be pumped to pay 77% more for medication than any other industrialized country anyway? We’ve been sold out for a loooooooong time and just when someone tries to put us on a somewhat-more-reasonable track, the big insurance companies find/fund these lunatics who make quite the sizable fuss, despite their numbers. And Palin? Just shameful. She’s among said lunatics, as she’s well proven.
Many kudos and thanks for this post.
August 14th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
so a successful conservative ( evil of all evils ) has no right to espouse on the lunacy of ObamaScare Obamacare….. how elitist…. And just today in the London Telegraph 250,000 wait 18 weeks for medical procedures and 1000 cancer patients refused care ( Patrick Swayze would be one )…..
August 14th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Oh lamb chop, how do I love thee?! I have kick ass health insurance. But that’s only going to last until October because the crazy low-cost-to-me, employer subsidized Cobra my layoff severance package allotted me will die in October. And then I will be in it. As you know, my oldest has Tourette’s. Yah, that adds just a SMIDGE to our private insurance monthly premium. I’ve had a kidney removed due to a congenital defect. So there goes MY premium. I think my youngest is the only “cheap” one here. But he’s a 5 yr old boy and keeps the local ER busy. And with private insurance deductibles, I’m sure I’ll need to take a 2nd mortgage the first time we visit the ER under whatever new private insurance we get. Your post rocks. And I think all the pasty rich blowhards should subsidize all the people that have to buy private health insurance. Smooches.
August 14th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
that was great. you got a new reader. sometimes meeting/reading your childhood heros aint a letdown.
August 14th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
For the most part, I agree with what you have written. I think it is right (and a right) to go to a town hall meeting and question something as important and big as health care reform, or is it heath insurance reform (guess we need to decide what we’re reforming). I do not think it is right to go into these meetings screaming like an idiot though. I used to be a yeller until I realized that I get much further with people being calm and rational. I am curious though, did you feel this same way when moveon.org or Acorn or left wing entertainers organized this type of activity against President Bush or other Republican lawmakers? Why is it when a left leaning group gets organized it’s called a grass roots protest, but if it’s the right, then it’s a mob? The door swings both ways and both sides are too blame.
August 14th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Well said Kay. I agree that the health insurance industry needs a major overhaul. I do fear having the government in charge though. It isn’t a fear like, “Ohmygodwe’rebecomingcommunistObamaistheManchurianCandidate!!!” type fear, but more-so fear of the unknown. Obama’s plan *could* be the greatest thing since sliced bread (sadly it isn’t, but it is a start) BUT what about the next President who takes office? What if he has a lesser mental capacity than our last Commander in Chief? Do you know how bad things could get fucked up?
Personally I think the real issues are being skirted in this bill. No tort reform? No mandatory coverage for those with ‘pre-existing conditions’ across the board? Those are two of the biggest issues that need to be addressed. I know Obama’s made a pledge to get this done and I appreciate that, but such a serious matter should not be done in haste.
Good luck and God Bless you and the family. I look forward to seeing you when you get back to town. Also, just a little aside, if you moved back home you could get Zoe and Henry covered with the MA healthcare systems mandatory coverages…maybe you can get a job at that new Sports Talk station.
-Tony
August 14th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
#6…I agree
August 15th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Very well written Kay. I’m astonished how REAL you think sometime.
You should start your own political blog.
I’m sealing with some healthcare issues myself right.
I’m being driven to sheer madness.XO
August 16th, 2009 at 3:53 am
I read your post on Huffington Post and you hit the whole issue in such a thoughtful way. You are a pretty smart lady. Thank you!
August 16th, 2009 at 7:27 am
Tony C., I think that you are right on the money. With the recent economic meltdown and the relative slowness of the government’s stimulus reaching the average American, I can see why people are not too happy at the thought of governmental control of the health insurance industry. People are sick of big promises and watered down results, all at an increased personal cost. Its no wonder why people are ranting and raving at the town meetings.
“You say yer life’s a bum deal
‘N yer up against the wall…
Well, people, you ain’t even got no
Deal at all
‘Cause what they do
In Washington
They just takes care
of NUMBER ONE
An’ NUMBER ONE ain’t YOU
You ain’t even NUMBER TWO”
from “The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing” – FZ
August 17th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Awesome rant. I just bookmarked your page.
Obama won by almost 10 million votes. Democrats in Congress by about the same. What did Obama say he was going to do? All along he said he was going to reform health care so that everybody in the country would be covered. It was a major campaign issue so this reform of health care shouldn’t be a surprise to anybody. Obama has a mandate and he better well make sure that he follows through on his promise. I worked hard for him and other Democrats. I donated a lot of money. This is what all that effort was for.
Right now I own my own business and have good health care, but that is besides the point. What it really boils down to is how we as a country can spend trillions of dollars on a war that wasn’t necessary, but we won’t spend a lesser amount to make sure that getting sick in America isn’t a death sentence or a major financial disaster. I would think that having health care could be considered an intrinsic element of the whole “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” thing. It is a moral imperative that everybody is covered.
Conservatives are a bunch of knuckle dragging neanderthals. You’ll have a hard time convincing me that a bunch of the idiots aren’t still mad that a black guy won the Presidency.
August 18th, 2009 at 11:04 am
I’m a little confused as to whether the Public Option is on or off the table at this point. I am intrigued by the idea of not-for-profit NGO’s running health insurance co-ops. On paper it looks like a decent solution that would keep everyone happy. Unfortunately things that look great on paper seemingly never turn out so in life.
-Tony C.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
When liberal groups disrupt conservative speaking events by shouting them down, or storming the stage mid-speech, it’s called free speech. However, when ordinary Americans angrily and loudly voice their opinions about President Obama’s vision for the country, they’re called Nazi’s an un-American by the Speaker of the House. And liberals wonder why Middle America is so angry right now.
August 19th, 2009 at 7:04 am
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/18/opinion/18herbert.html?_r=1&em
A good op-ed piece.
August 19th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Lanny Grant: “And liberals wonder why Middle America is so angry now.”
Lanny, that premise of yours is a talk show inspired fallacy. Middle America isn’t angry, just the conservative base is. And a good bunch of that conservative base is just angry because a black guy is President. They would argue with Obama if he said the sky was blue.
Middle America is sick of white, southern conservative men ruining our country. To wit, conservatives got their asses epically kicked in the last two elections. Electorally speaking it is just the tip of the iceberg since it will be damn near impossible for republicans to win anything while losing Latinos by a 70 to 30 margin from here on out. And you can expect Obama to roll out immigration reform just in time for the midterm elections because nothing drives droves of moderate voters into the arms of Democrats faster than a bunch of conservatives showcasing their bigotry and racism. Bank on it.
August 24th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
You may all want to stick your ILLEGAL immigrants where the sun don’t shine and you can HAVE this country all to your liberal selves as I and my hell raising friends don’t want it the way the Prez wants it. He and his cronies are leading us to communism which is not what we were born into. Think as low of my opinion as you wish but you will eat your thoughts before it’s over. Top Notch Surgeons are leaving this Country — I work for docs and I am aware of their reasons. Some have already sent their wives and children to Venezuela and will join them as soon as their scheduled surgeries are complete.
I hope you all live in Pelosi’s district although I know that you don’t. If you want to blame the hell raisers in this country, the least you can do is admit you were the hell raisers yourselves before the Repubs were in the majority. I will fight for my freedom, which is my right, until their is no fight left in me.
I hope you open your eyes before it is too late for your children.
August 24th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Annie Ruth, I always said if Palin or McCain get voted in I will leave the country.
You may think the liberals are wrong, but soon you’ll awaken to the truth.
Considerng you work FOR doctors you’re not gaining anything from the current healthcare situation.
You think you have decent benefits working for your doctors, why should you worry. Your insurance has limits and God forbid anything happens to you, you will find yourself in a hell hole, receiving no more than paleative care. My dad WAS a doctor,until he fell ill with cancer and stopped working for a year as he was in major pain. He exhausted his CUP- yes even hospital emplyees have a limit to their insurance, at which point the doctor taking care of you FIRST checks with your insurance before ordering anything you may need. If insurance says, they will not cover anything else, other than “MAKING YOU COMFORTABLE” then you’re f***ed, sorry to say. Now what if you DON’T have money to pay for the rest yourself. As a nurse or a receptionist I doubt you would have money to cover your own expenses – in which care, healthcare reform would only be a benefit to you. Learn about healthcare in England, Germany, hell even Canada! People who say they hate it, want stupid stuff like nose jobs or boob jobs or things that CAN wait. But people who need medical care, and can’t afford it themselves are taken care of. Are you going to tell the MILLIONS of uninsured children in the US to go stick it up a tail pipe? Because, them wanting medical care conflicts with the bank account of the doctor you work for? It’s almost like the oath they take means nothing at all…
He’s moving to Venezuela to make money? He won’t find it there, I can tell you that for sure. You should also rethink your position on this. Take a walk into a free clinic and meet some of those people whom you believe can live without health care. Walk in there and tell those kids, their liberal believes are ridiculous. To rephrase your quote: I hope you open your eyes before it’s too late for EVERYONE
August 28th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
^ Well, at least no one can accuse you of being over-dramatic. I understand that some doctors are upset that their pay may be cut, but I don’t think that would cause any of them to relocate. In fact, most of the other industrialized nations — where they’d go for work — have universal healthcare too. (Is there something about Venezuela I don’t know?) As for Communism not being what we were born into… I don’t know if you’re speaking about your generation or the history of America as a whole, but we’ve made a lot of mistakes. And the only way we’ll find out what works for us is to try something new. We’re still a baby nation – we’ve only been around a couple hundred years!!!
It’s funny you should blog about this, Kay (well, not really – it’s all over the news), but I just read Roger Ebert’s blog about this (his opinion’s the same as yours) and the comments just made me sick to my stomach, especially one that you kind of addressed in your last paragraph. One guy’s defense was that he didn’t want to pay for other people’s insurance because the people who needed help made “bad choices.” The examples he used were a girl who got pregnant in high school (girls are such sluts!) or someone who majored in Art History (because, duh!). It was seriously the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Or the people who claim that an extra tax for this would be like “armed robbery” because it’s taking money from them and giving it to someone else. (Don’t tell ‘em about the road and school taxes; they’ll die!)
August 31st, 2009 at 11:06 am
Rich~ I disagree. I believe that most of Middle America is against government run health care. Are they for reform, yes, but let’s make sure we know what we’re reforming. Tony made very good points about what needs to be changed. If there is no tort reform, then nothing else is really going to matter at this point.
I also love, but am not surprised, how you turn to name calling. If America is/was tired of southern white guys running the country, why was Clinton elected twice? I know you said conservative, but Bush is not conservative and while he may be more southern that most, he’s less southern than Clinton.
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:47 am
I understand America’s insurance companies need revamping but don’t think for one minute that I didn’t have to live through raising a child with no health insurance when he developed hydrocephalus at age 10 and deal with it. It scared the hell out of me but GA had programs for working moms and that was nice. I have fought with insurance companies about his pre-existing condition but all insurance companies don’t have this clause anymore at least not here in GA. A lot of fixing needs to be done to America and voices have to be heard and if I have to scream to be heard then so be it. It is for every american citizen and my own family that I attend these rallies and townhall meetings. I am 52 so maybe it’s a generational thing but I think not. Interesting takes and you know what they say about talking politics. Thanks for the opportunity to revent.
September 11th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Nice work Kay. I absolutely believe that there are two side to every story. I have had generally reasonable experiences with my healtch care providers until we started having kids. There are so many procedures, visits and medications that do not get covered because they are preventive or not life-threatening. It definitely wants to make me scream.
I’ve been a fan for a long long time and posts like this re-emphasize why!
Pease out.
C
September 11th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
^ Well, at least no one can accuse you of being over-dramatic. I understand that some doctors are upset that their pay may be cut, but I don’t think that would cause any of them to relocate. In fact, most of the other industrialized nations — where they’d go for work — have universal healthcare too. (Is there something about Venezuela I don’t know?) As for Communism not being what we were born into… I don’t know if you’re speaking about your generation or the history of America as a whole, but we’ve made a lot of mistakes. And the only way we’ll find out what works for us is to try something new. We’re still a baby nation – we’ve only been around a couple hundred years!!!
It’s funny you should blog about this, Kay (well, not really – it’s all over the news), but I just read Roger Ebert’s blog about this (his opinion’s the same as yours) and the comments just made me sick to my stomach, especially one that you kind of addressed in your last paragraph. One guy’s defense was that he didn’t want to pay for other people’s insurance because the people who needed help made “bad choices.” The examples he used were a girl who got pregnant in high school (girls are such sluts!) or someone who majored in Art History (because, duh!). It was seriously the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Or the people who claim that an extra tax for this would be like “armed robbery” because it’s taking money from them and giving it to someone else. (Don’t tell ‘em about the road and school taxes; they’ll die!)…
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:10 am
I’ve never heard of anyone who did NOT have health insurance complain about health care reform.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Whether they redistribute the wealth and taxes to fund the so-called reform or not (and OH MY GOD we could never work this out without the government)I will also love Letters to Cleo and Mike and Kay’s music. And for my own satisfaction, I have to say that for the 1st 3 weeks of Obama’s presidency, I thought he might actually be good for the country. It is evident that my view of his capabilities and mission has changed.
So call me racist if you want to because I know who I am and I believe the ones who accuse others of being racist are the real racists. Chew on that.
Rock on! And as Kay wrote in Faded Dress, I should’ve seen it coming like a speeding car! Substituting “you” with “it” and no disrespect intended.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:42 am
If anyone has the balls to see any of what really happens at Tea Parties and Healthcare Rallies, and who attends, I have permission to share this documentary w/you: http://www.teapartymovie.com/
September 29th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Kay is straight up that The Man’s Church of the Almighty Dollar is framing the debate over health insurance reform. There is a grassroots effort amongst acupuncturists (acu-punks) to make the ancient art of traditional oriental medicine accessible via the community acupuncture network; most of us offer treatment for the cost of most plans’ copay. My clinic even offers a karmaship (think scholarship) that allows patients to make donations to support fellow patients down on the food chain. That’s our way of “sticking it to The Man.”
October 14th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
WOW! Kay, I just love the way you sneaked your way into commenting on Insurance Reform. You are a fantastic writer.
I have spent my last 30 years fighting with insurance companies to get them to pay for the medical services I need to stay alive. I am one of the “lucky” ones because I at least have insurance. But the greedy bastwads like to hoard, so they’ll do anything they can to keep all the money flowing in, rather than letting any flow back out to their “customers”.
The lust for money is absolutely the wrong basis for any decisions concerning health care. Single payer is definitely the way to go. Let’s hope all the yelling and mud-slinging and fear-mongering come to an end, and the US can join the rest of the civilized world by taking care of the health of its people.
Best wishes to you and your family.
PS I first heard you sing in “10 Things I Hate About You”. You have an amazing voice!