Tears For Affairs
I’ve had this weird ear thing off and on for the past few months. You know how when you’re on a plane and you’re landing and your ears get all cloggy so you open your jaw like you’re yawning or chew gum to un-clog them? It’s exactly like that but since I’m not on a plane, it affects only the right side and the weird sensation doesn’t respond to yawning or gum-smacking, my vertigo-inducing ear thing is most likely a brain tumor which is why there is no way in hell that I am going to see a doctor about this.
Dr. Blizzblazz: ”Kay, I can’t believe you’ve been walking around in this condition for months. Clearly, you have a saint-like threshold for pain and discomfort.”
Me: ”Well, Dr. B, I have a lot of responsibilities. When so many people depend on you, who has the time or inclination to get sidetracked by a silly old ear thing? I mean, those blind Gypsy orphans ain’t gonna teach themselves to run edits on a pro-tools rig! Am I right or am I right? Haha! Anyhoodles, I’m late for my lunch at The Peninsula so can I just get some like, penicillin and some Vikes or whatever and be on me old way?”
Dr. Blizzblazz: ”Of course you can, but I hardly see how this will help a person who’s already well into the dying process and only has 36 hours to live.”
Me: ”……….”
So right now, I am retiring to bed where I shall hopefully sleep until morning, dreaming about candy and french fries while maintaining my blissful ignorance about the fact that I am dying. Of a sizable brain tumor. Before I go (to sleep, not to my grave. for now…), however, I’ll alert you to the true purpose of my post, which is to reveal the results of my iTunes Shuffle Questionnaire. I love this kind of crap. I swear on my first and last cat Snowball’s unholy ghost, I did not manipulate these results!! Which won’t surprise you really, as a lot of the the answers don’t make sense. Or do they? No, some of ‘em really don’t.
IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY? Coffee Cup (Dillon Fence)
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? Where’s Your Kiss? (Dillon Fence)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Biting The Soles Of My Feet (Electric Soft Parade)
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Effigy (Uncle Tupelo)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Have A Drink On Me (AC/DC)
WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO? She’s A Mover (Big Star)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Time Wraps Around You (Velvet Crush)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? My Moon My Man (Feist)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Gotta Get Back (Shelby Lynne)
WHAT IS 2 + 2? Snowsuit Sound (Sloan)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Let’s Go Out Tonight (Michelle Lewis/Kay Hanley writing demo)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Don’t Freak Out (Lindsey Ray/Curt Schneider/Kay Hanley writing demo)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Shake It Off (Wilco)
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? You Give Love A Bad Name (Bon Jovi)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Who Will I Be (Demi Lovato)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Quiet Storm King (Figdish)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Eiffel Tower High (Husker Du)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? The Bones Of An Idol (The New Pornographers)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Hangin’ Tree (Queens Of The Stone Age)
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW? Broken Chairs (Built To Spill)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? The Pilot’s On The Wall (Centro-matic)
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? Tears For Affairs (Camera Obscura)
- xok
March 4th, 2009 at 1:50 am
duder, i experienced the EXACT same ear problem for 11 straight days on tour this time last year. I saw 5 different doctors until finally, after a panic attack, i took prednisone and it cleared up. It was the worst time of my life. I totally sympathize, but you gots to get the roidz if you want it to go away. trust.
Fannius was great tonight. i filled in on bass last minute for her. ’twas dope.
March 4th, 2009 at 8:57 am
Dr. NiteOwl says:
LOL you’re not die’in !!!!
Kay start the antihistamine’s, the ones that make you
all (dopey/fuzzy/unstable/& sleepy) Yeah those..
Do them 3 times a day, Keep your tunes at a lower level
and talk softly.. (this will help you believe your normal)
(and keep you from focus’in on your bummed ear..
Drinking Adult drinks WILL help !
Breath through your nose…*Always
Do this for a week, If your hearing is not better
You will need one of 2 things, 1: antibiotics or 2: ear drum drained
On a good sign, s long as you are not having ear aches,
This tells me, you may not need the lesser, and more then likely
have a bad cold (in your ear)
*Legal statement : I’m not a Doctor, I just play one for entertainment reasons !
I take not legal responsibility for this diagnosis’s. (my sister had the same thing)
(it’s wht her dr. told her to do) As for plane rides, this issue could
be a problem *for real ! If you have an infection and the pressure is already
high, when landing you could rupture your ear drum. Chewing gum, while
landing is a good idea, since it keeps the fluid moving..
But try the antihistamine’s……!
As for your other ear, LOL I have that too, except mine in mostly deaf now.
*I wonder if that was something god was passing out that year, in Boston !
Seems allot of ppl here have this issue.. Mines in my left ear.
OK that’s the best I can do…
Just remember, never put anything into your ear, crayons, drills, or any other
possible new ideas you may come up with for relief…! This advise is the same
for 3 year olds putting things in their ears and nose’s.. so use this as a foundation
A vibrator outside your ear, may also help move the fluid.
OK, there ya go
Get better Kay ! we’re root’in for ya !
~NiteOwl~
March 4th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Brain cancer? BRAIN CANCER???????????????????????????????
Don’t be so worried Kay, it’s probably only an insidious brain parasite that wiggled into your noggin through your ear canal.
Your sick and twisted friend,
Richard
March 4th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
i’ve been having the same ear problem! when it pops, does it feel like something is draining in/out your ear? it’s been driving me crazy. i have been complaining all weekend.
March 4th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
if you die i shall bring cookies to the funeral. because cookies make everyone feel better. which do you prefer, chocolate or vanilla? =P *please don’t die…i’m bad at making cookies*
March 5th, 2009 at 8:03 am
Nice props to Figdish….Those albums are incredible….and Garbo - are you really only 21 years old?
March 11th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Kay,
Wow I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts. I have been listening to LTC since the breakout mainstream hit “Here And Now” and been a fan ever since. You are such a good writer. Very creative and funny.
-c