The Moment Is Nigh.
The adorable Trent from Pink Is The New Blog texted me earlier to ask for a picture of me with the I Voted sticker on for his voter photo series. I’m so glad that he did because I definitely wouldn’t have thought to document this moment on my own.
When I emailed him the picture, which was of me and Zoe Mabel, I had to mention what this election means to both of us.
My parents brought me and my sisters to the voting booth. My Dad always worked for local candidates in Boston and my Mom was a pro-life activist (no, that’s not a mistake) so my formative years were spent completely immersed in the true blood sport of Boston politics. I have followed American politics with love, disgust, excitement, anger and most of all (hopefully) respect my whole life.
In turn, USA Mike and I have always brought OUR kids to the polls. I don’t think Zoe Mabel has ever missed an election in her 9 young years. This year was especially meaningful, though. She decided that Barack Obama was her guy last year (no surprise there) and followed the primary season indepently all the way up to the DNC. We watched the convention every single night and she (along with conroy) cried when Obama delivered his speech. I am not even kidding.
Obama’s name on the ballot would have been enough to get her stoked about the election but then she got wind of something else: Proposition 8. A ballot initiative asking for an amendment to the Constitution of the state of California that would ban gay marriage.
Being from Massachusetts, we know several gay couples that are married, most notably our friends Brian and Charlie Moore-Ward, whom Z has known her whole life. Many of our dearest friends here in Los Angeles are gay and nobody, including our children has ever thought anything of it.
So when Zoe got wind of Prop 8 she was quite literally shocked and saddened that anybody would want to inflict such insult and/or pain on so many of the people that are important in our lives. Honestly, I do not have the stomach to even try to explain why such a point of view would exist in this world, so I don’t except to say that any idiot can get a stupid initiative onto a California ballot and maybe it was a horrible mistake. No matter, I will tell you this: An activist has been born.
Alright. Conroy’s here and we all know what that means. The polls are beginning to close all over the United States Of America. Godspeed, Mr. Obama.
November 4th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Ahhh this one brought a tear to my little eye. Sadly they didn’t have I Voted stickers in Mass!!!!
November 4th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Wow. You and Mike have raised a good kid there. Seriously
November 4th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Ok, so this is my first blog of yours.
I like you
Being as my gays honored me at their Homo-Halloween party on Friday, I feel a re-newfound love for the queers.
You and I stand together. Bucko!
Saw Obama last week in Sunrise, FL. Voted for him today in Pines, FL. and will mary him anywhere he in FL.
cool blog. like what you’re doing with your daughter.
Kamiece
November 4th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
One of my all time favorite artists… I’m actually buying your music as I write this
Proud of a fellow American with passionate views and thought out reasons… not just “Change”.
Can’t say I agree though. Curious, if the Proposition passes and a majority of the population disagrees with you… will it still just be “one idiot”?
For the record… I’m OK with the arrangement, just don’t think the government should be in the business of blessing ANYONE’s marriage, even mine.
November 4th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Yea, no stickers, but they did have a bake sale at my polling place in Quincy. I left with 2 yummy cupcakes!
November 5th, 2008 at 2:36 am
High five to you, Kay!
You’ve been speaking out and fighting the good fight all this time.
Your messages on the old site were always uplifting back in the days when Republican rule seemed like it would never end.
We all won tonight and it feels great.
November 5th, 2008 at 8:13 am
[…] and you can read all about it right here on her snap-crackle-popper of a blog, which also features lots of well-told tales of her adventures […]
November 5th, 2008 at 11:20 am
I love that photo, and I’m sorry Kay, but I’m stealing, printing and framing it!!
Zoe is beautiful on the inside as well as out - excellent!
Tears, joy and pride that I voted, blogged and called to help make history;
even though a garbagge man this morning said to me: “Sorry, your guy didn’t win…”
I answered: “Actually, my guy won. He was a classy man the entire election and
he won. We can all look at one another as one nation, no ‘mine’ and ‘yours’, only ‘ours.’”
November 5th, 2008 at 11:54 am
This is my first time commenting on your blog, Kay, and it was my first time voting! (I did not get a sticker, however…)
I’m curious as to what you think about Prop 8, now that it has pretty much passed. :/
November 6th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Hi, Kay…first time poster here. I must say I’ve followed your blog since your last tour with Miley. Yes…I’m one of those closet older Miley fans
Anyway, your posts have made me chuckle. They have made me take pause and think. And at times, I’ve agreed. And times I’ve disagreed. But either way…I’ve always respected you. And that’s what I love about this great nation–freedom of speech, freedom of thought.
Usually, I would just read and move along. But I did feel a need to comment on Proposition 8. Please know up front….some of the friends I hold dear are gay. We’ve opposed each other on this proposition, but have always had respect for each other, and still do. I’m one that would have voted yes, but I don’t live in Cali. But, I just wanted to share “this” side of 8.
We’re not idiots. We’re not hateful. And, we’re certainly not void of understanding of the pain many may be feeling with the passing of 8. How could we do such a thing? How could be believe such a thing? We’re simply fighting as strongly for what we believe, as you are. Marriage has been, as we understand and feel, ordained by God to be a union between man and woman. Think of something you hold most sacred in your life. Then think of someone trying to alter that. Would you not fight with everything to protect it? That’s all we’re trying to do. I don’t believe it to be a hateful thing to stand for something you revere to be sacred. I’m not against my gay friends having the same civil rights as I would by law. We’re simply trying to fight for the sanctity of the marriage ceremony. Just as in society, we can’t alter a law just because we want it to fit our desires…so we see marriage as a sacred law that we feel people are trying to alter to fit what they want.
Please know, I’m in no way trying to preach to you or your readers. I’m simply giving my perspective so that you maybe, hopefully can respect those of us who support 8 as I completely respect you, though you do not. God Bless. And keep up the awesome writing. You have a great talent with words.
November 7th, 2008 at 5:41 am
@carrie, no one is trying to force you into a gay marriage, so why force people to not be able to have marriage. Lets not the fact that 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce and therefore half the country does not treat marraige as if its sacred but as something they can drop at the drop of a hat.
Here in MA, the epicenter of gay marraige, we have the lowest divorce rates IN THE COUNTY. Yea thats right. The lowest. Also (im not sure with the Gloucester statitsics from this summer) but they HAD the one of the lowest teen pregnancy rates. Nevada has the worst divorce rate, BUT many of the 6 states that passed the horrible ballots on tuesday have a PATHETIC showing. The bible belt itself comprises a lot of the worst divorce rates in the country. Divorce and extramarrital affairs destroy the sanctity of marriage. thats just my perspective.
Kay - you kid is freakin’ awesome!!!! Way to go to raise such a wonderful kid. She gives me hope. How amazing is it that your children are being raised in a world where it is not a novel idea to have an african american president. If we elect another one in thier lifetime, unlike us who will floored we did it agian, they will think “so what, big deal. its not like this hasnt happened before.” HOW FREAKIN” AWESOME IS THIS NEW WORLD.
2 steps forward, 1 step back with the ballot measures though. Particularly prop 8 (which is constitutional amendment right? becuase 57% is not enough to amend the MA constitution or the US constitution and i thought not enough for the CA constitution is what us up with clerks enforcing it?! I can’t wait until these suits get to the CASJCA. Also the ban on gay adoption in AS is pretty heatbreaking
November 7th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
April…I absolutely agree with you on many of your points. Too many DON’T hold marriage sacred as they should, divorcing when they feel it doesn’t fit THEIR needs. Very selfish view, in my opinion. I’m glad to see that you, too, hold marriage to the high level it should be. And you’re right…no one is trying to force me into a gay marriage. But, what I was trying to point out was there ARE many of us that still honor the original unaltered definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman. We believe we didn’t define it, but rather God. It’s THESE people, that fought for 8. I didn’t post my comment to try and prove anyone wrong. I’m hoping that there can be the understanding that we’re not trying to be hateful, gruel, or spiteful. I know the passing of this proposition will be painful to many. But, please understand…the overturning of the first proposition…and the overlooking of the original religious ceremony of marriage, is just as painful for us. Just as y’all will fight to overturn it, we fight to protect it–not angrily, not spitefully, but passionately. God bless.
November 7th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
P.S…Kay…I apologize for my two long comments. I didn’t mean to take up so much room on your blog. I’ll be quiet now.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
No problem at all, Carrie. I appreciate your honesty and thoughtfulness. I HATE it when people agree with each other all the time about politics (one of the things that makes me nuts about living in LA..) because I believe that push and pull is necessary in a healthy Democracy.
To reiterate, however: I disagree with you entirely. This is an issue of civil rights. God did not give us marriage. Marriage is an entirely man-made construct that is purely practical, although we are free to enrich it with religious meaning if we so choose. Marriage is meant to keep families intact and responsible for each others’ well being for the betterment of society. Right now, this societal construct unfairly excludes an entire population from enjoying its legal, social and economic benefits while at the same time marginalizing them, and in the case of the passage of Prop 8, to humiliating effect.
If the objection is that only God can bless a marriage, should we not nullify mine? My husband and I are atheists and our marriage (which we wrote ourselves) was performed at the MIT Faculty Club by a JOP in front of our friends and family 10 years ago. What about all the people married by Elvis impersonators in Vegas? Sure, it may be an Elvis “chapel” but I hardly think those are sanctioned by God.
So we agree to disagree, that’s all. I hope someday that we will agree.
November 7th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Elvis impersonators? Ahh haa…sorry. That just brought back a not so pleasant Vegas strip memory. Being that I grew up in the South…I was pretty much raised to “worship” all things Elvis. So, it’s not hard to understand that when I saw my first impersonator–hangin out on the corner of Las Vegas Blvd and Flamingo with a pot belly, wedgy, and exuding an overpowering mix of B.O. and whisky…I was saddened greatly, and thought I may never fully recover. A few weeks of shock therapy really did wonders for me.
Anyway…to my point….
It’s interesting that you brought up that you’re atheist. My friend Sherry in San Francisco, one of my friends I was referring to in my original post, is gay AND atheist. We love conversing back and forth–both with totally different views. But, still adoring and respecting each other, just the same. Anyway, the reason why I said it’s interesting you mentioned it, is because she posed the same question to me. If I believe marriage is a religious ceremony, then what ABOUT atheists? My reply was that I don’t believe God has ever said you HAVE to believe in Him (after all, He’s given us our agency to choose what we believe in this life)…and thus being a “believer” is not one of His prerequisites for marriage…though…it would be nice
She chuckled.
So, anyway…yes…I guess we’re left to agreeing to disagree. Please know, my heart DOES go out to your gay friends that are struggling, hurt, angry. I find it only fair that I share with you that I’m one of those Mormons much of the gay community would love to tie down to an angry fire ant mound right about now. So, I guess that pretty much puts our beliefs on opposite ends of the spectrum. But, again…I fully understand and respect your views. And maybe one day…we will indeed agree.
November 8th, 2008 at 12:34 am
Carrie-do you see that the issue is more about gays and lesbians having the same rights as you…not being tacked under the term “married”? As I’ve said in a number of posts, I don’t care about titles. I just care about rights, equality and access to the same benefits. Isn’t our government supposed to have been developed under the idea that there is a sepparation of church and state? Until there is an option to be civilly unioned we will continue to fight for marriage equality.
So, I understand were you are coming from. I don’t expect you to know what it is to be a gay American, but I do hope that you can understand where we are coming from. But, to be honest, you are the one causing the fight…and we will fight because unjustice is unjustice despite what
religous sheild is before it.
November 8th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Perhaps then, Chaztastic, this is where we all meet in the middle…and fight for more rights under civil unions. I know that my church, as well as many others in the prop 8 “coalition,” are not out to take away your civil rights.
But, here’s something y’all may not be aware of as to why the LDS church is such a strong supporter of 8: We believe in the typical marriage. But, we also have an added ceremony in our temples. Lawful marriage, we believe is till “death do you part.” In out temples, we believe your marriage can be then sealed for “all time and eternity” (since we believe there’s life after death, we believe, if sealed, you can remain married to your spouse after this life). This is one of our most holy, sacred ceremonies in our church. Not all Mormons can enter a temple, due to just how sacred temples are. One would first need to follow all Church standards.
Now, here’s a big reason we “fight” for prop 8 (not just that we see marriage as being between man and wife). If passed, it could then mean, a same sex couple–who is married by law–could THEN sue to be sealed in our temples under the law of anti-discrimination, since by law they are now married. So, in a real sense…we, too, are fighting government from being able to tell us how we should worship. Again…we’re not fighting to take away rights from the gay community, we’re trying to be able to worship as we see fit. And, after talking with my friend Sherry about this very issue today, she said she’s starting to finally understand our concern. So, I pray that I”m making sense in this post right now.
Chaztastic…I do see where you’re coming from. Please know, I wish there WAS a middle.
November 9th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Wow Carrie, you’ve completely lost me. That last paragraph is just about the most selfish thing I have ever heard. “Worship as we see fit”. Why on Earth should the rest of us be subjected to policies based on YOUR belief in the occult? Please, dear. Practice your religion on your own time. There is absolutely no place for this kind of religious gobbledegook in the shaping of public policy. As the law stands, no church, temple, mosque could ever be compelled to perform or even recognize a gay marriage so your reasoning here is either misinformed or it’s a red herring. Either way, what a joke.
I believe that the Mormon Church should have its tax exempt status revoked immediately. Their role in this whole ordeal is completely unacceptable but I also have to admit that I’m kind of glad that it’s happening. You want a fight? You ain’t seen NOTHING yet, Carrie. You guys fucked with the wrong homos.
I am done here.
November 9th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Carrie, I was going to respond to your last post, but Kay said everything I wanted to say and more. I agree with Chaztastic 100% though I am biased because he is my gay husband.
November 9th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
No no…Kay…I think you may have taken what I wrote wrong. More appropriately, I think I didn’t type what I meant, correctly. I didn’t mean “worship as we see fit” in a negative connotation. I meant as in “being allowed to worship in a way feel is correct” just as the gay community fights to protect what they feel is correct. So, again…I didn’t mean to come across as selfish. My apologizes, please.
Concerning the role of the LDS (Mormon)Church….I think, perhaps, there is some misinformation concerning what their exact role was. They actually never donated any money as an institution. This fact is actually finally hitting the news media, from my understanding. The Mormon Church leaders asked the Mormon members in the state of California to closely study the issue, and to then get involved, if they felt compelled to do so. There ARE members who opposed 8. And the Church supports their free will, and has counseled all members to not judge each other on either side of the debate. The 22 million dollar sum that’s been announced as having been donated was attributed incorrectly. That money came from the Mormon members, not the Church itself. In other words, that’s money donated as California citizens…again, from my understanding. But, yes…the Church has publicly stated it feels that marriage is between a man and woman. So, I’m not sure that would constitute having it’s tax exemption revoked. But, I’m not clear on that.
I’ve always try to live by, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” Therefore, I most definitely respect your fight. Again, I apologize for offending you, Kay, BriGuy, Chaztastic. Please know, that was in no way my intentions.
November 9th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
p.S…some possible common ground…chattin with my friend Sherry right now. Some thoughts. What if the government could see all unions as civil unions? And apply all rights to them that are currently given to “marriages”? Then have “marriages” be religious if they wish. Perhaps common ground?
I didn’t realize the picture that’s been painted to y’all about the LDS church down there. Sherry just filled me in. I’m truly sorry, y’all. We’re thinking perhaps the media is only showing the “crazies.” All the friends that I’ve talked with, who are Mormon…don’t have ANY hatred towards the gay community. And we totally understand the protests. Sherry mentioned they’ve been told in San Fran, by some religious groups (non Mormon), that gays are “going to hell.” What the CRAP? That’s just not what the Mormon leaders teach. ANyway…wow. What a mess.
So, if you continue to have disgust towards me…I think I can understand. I wish you truly did know what we actually believe, rather than seeing the skewed mess before you. But, I fear that’s not going to ever happen. I wish y’all only peace, and I’ll leave you be. And I just wanted to end with…Kay…wow…what an amazing talent you have. May you have continued success!
November 11th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I hope no one thinks this “Carrie” is me, since my name is Carrie, too. It’s definitely not me. And, by the way, I got married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator!
November 20th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
came across this blog looking for letters to cleo, hopefully you are the one who did those awesome tracks back in the 90’s , are you going to make any more, where’s your band gone?
can’t believe you are 40 already, makes me feel old as I am now as old as you were when you were recording with your band, still that’s 10 years younger than you!
cheers!
sj